Talk:Coming Home (Diddy – Dirty Money song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:50, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

• 2 dablinks fixed. Ref #39 (TOCC) is dead.
• Archived webpages should provide a link to the original. Use the archiveurl= and archivedate= parameters in citation templates.
• No problems with media, except File:Coming Home.jpg should be reduced to 300px wide. Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:50, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

Lead

• "The contemporary hip-hop pop song was written by Diddy, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter, Alex da Kid and Skylar Grey, the latter of whom also has featured vocals in the chorus." - clumsy
• "Inspired by autobiographical moments in Diddy's life," - moments are not autobiographical
• AMAs should not be italicised

Inspiration and composition

• ""Coming Home" is a downtempo hip-hop, pop song" - hip-hop and pop
• "When speaking to Grant" - first name needed
• "Later Diddy would call" - use past tense
• The last two chords link to keys, not chords
• "It uses a simple chord progression" → It uses/follows the basic chord progression
• "As well as noting the song's tribute to The Notorious B.I.G in the line "I miss you, B.I.G" - incomplete sentence
• Bill Lamb is unreliable, remove
  • Not according to these RSN discussions: here and here. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 ^[talk] 17:37, 5 June 2011 (UTC)
    • Those discussions are about About.com as a whole. Consensus is that About.com is as reliable as the "Guide" writing the article. Mark Edward Nero is reliable because he has written for several newspapers, but Lamb's best experience was college DJing. See also these FACs. Adabow (talk · contribs) 21:37, 5 June 2011 (UTC)
      • for FA-level I accept that is is not the best resource but for GA-level where scrutiny should be less I believe Lamb is a reliable source. Its not been an issue in the past using Bill Lamb for reviews at GA level. If it is still an issue I'll remove. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 ^[talk] 22:55, 5 June 2011 (UTC)
• "When asked, by Radio 1 Live Lounge's Trevor Nelson, about what "Coming Home" was based on," → When asked by Radio 1 Live Lounge's Trevor Nelson what "Coming Home" was based on,
• Radio 1 Live Lounge links to a compilation album

Critical reception

• ""Coming Home" generally received a good reception" - rewrite
• "and noted "Coming Home" as one of the album's highlights," - name the album

Chart performance

• "Consequently "Coming Home" outperformed all of the group's previous singles on the Hot 100 and Digital Songs charts.[19] Consequently, the song also peaked higher than two of the three songs mentioned in the lyrics" - repetitive
• ""Coming Home" had officially sold one million digital copies" - remove the "officially"
• "Internationally, the single got off to a strong start in Belgium. It debuted on the Flanders Tip Chart at number twenty-six[21] as well as on the Wallonia Tip Chart." - rewrite
• The sentences about Swiss charting are a bit of a mess, please rewrite
• Australian and German charts need to be linked
• The song has reached the top ten in Ireland, Scotland, Poland, New Zealand, Austria and France; these placings should be mentioned in the prose
• There is a lot of text about British radio (A-lists etc). Not only is this from one radio network, but I feel it is somewhat trivial. Many people (including myself) do not actually understand A/B/C lists, and frankly, don't care

Live performances

• This section is generally placed after the music video section
• Give the date of the Idol performance

Music video

• Video Static and Glamourvanity.com are unreliable
  • Video static is reliable, it is run by one Steven Gottlieb who is the former Senior Editor of music video trade magazine CVC Report. Additionally his website is supported and sponsered by many music video production companies who house some of the biggest music video directors e.g. Dave Meyers, Chris Robinson, Marc Webb, Francis Lawrence, LITTLE x, Marc Klasfeld, Melina, Colin Tilley amongst others. Hardly unrelibale — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 ^[talk] 18:19, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

• Glamourvanity quote in the image caption needs to be removed. Adabow (talk · contribs) 23:14, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

• "In the background and foreground, the fire-damaged remnants of a home such as a TV set, fur coats and a stereo system." - incomplete sentence

On hold for seven days. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:02, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

I am satisfied now, listing. Well done. Adabow (talk · contribs) 23:58, 5 June 2011 (UTC)