Talk:James B. Conant/GA1
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Reviewer: Sasata (talk · contribs) 22:42, 1 June 2012 (UTC)
Hi, I'll claim this review. Will have comments up by the end of this weekend. Sasata (talk) 22:42, 1 June 2012 (UTC)
- Please review my copyedits to ensure I didn't mess things up. Many of these comments are beyond GA level; I'm assuming this will eventually find it's way to FAC (it's close already, IMHO), so perhaps the extra nitpicking may be useful. Sasata (talk) 06:13, 5 June 2012 (UTC)
- Lead
combine short 1st paragraph with second? (5-paragraph leads are uncommon)- the text declares that he was the "Sheldon Emery Professor of Organic Chemistry", but it isn't indicated here or later in the article the significance of the title
- Good question. All I got on Google was a lot of hits on Eric Jacobsen, who is currently occupying the chair. All I know is that it was created in 1925 [1] Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:15, 5 June 2012 (UTC)
- "He dispensed with a number of customs, including class rankings and the requirement for Latin" Latin classes or speaking Latin? (another instance in the "President of Harvard" section)
- possibly useful links: co-educational;
atomic bombs; German sovereignty - Early life
link photoengravercould you give some specific examples of the drugs they were making at LPC Laboratories?- Chemistry professor
I understand there's some complexities involved with converting older dollar values to current values, but it would be useful if there some kind of measure of how large his 1927 salary offer was. Same applies for the 2,500 marks that appears later."He also published three papers describing experiments in which he polymerized isoprene to create synthetic rubber." consider adding the underlinedlink royalties- President of Harvard
"However he chose to do so only sporadically." He chose what? To stick his neck out? To make progress?link tenure"lower class students" hyphen required?who are Henry Chauncey and William Bender?"15 per cent quota" -> "percent" in Am. Eng. (another instance later too)- link MIT, honorary degree,
"Hanfstaengl wrote out a check for 2,500 marks to Conant for a scholarship." I'm not quite parsing this sentence correctly; is the implication that Hanfstaengl gave money to Conant to fund a scholarship to be awarded to some worthy student, but the money was tainted because of Hanfstaengl's Nazi sympathies? Later, in 1936, "Conant turned it down" … what did he turn down? Hanfstaengl's offer?"without a hitch" idiomatic, not encyclopedic language"… despite the presence of Franklin D. Roosevelt of the class of 1904, whom many Harvard graduates regarded as a socialist and a class traitor." Just to clarify I'm understanding this correctly, the Harvard graduates thought that the then-President of the United States was a socialist and class traitor?link patent law- Cold War
"… and Conant called for a ban on Communist teachers." Communist teachers or teachers of Communism? (Maybe they're equivalent?)link denominational school- High Commissioner
"Conant decided to retire in September 1953" Did he just make the decision, or did he actually retire that month?perhaps link defence spending (and should be spelled "defense" for AE)- bargaining chip->idiomatic
How about calling "Publications" "Selected publication", as none of his journal articles are listed. Are there any articles that are especially significant or highly cited and might be worthy of inclusion in this list?- References
- accessdate not required for print sources, nor publisher for journals
no volume # for Giangreco, 1997 or Saltzman, 2003?As a general comment on the mostly excellent prose, many sentences employ a structure where "which" is used as a pronoun to refer to a whole idea or phrase. If you highlight all occurrences of this word using your browser, you might agree it is a little overused, and the text might flow better if the occurrences in some dense patches were reduced.the duplicate links tool shows some links that could be trimmed; one dablink is present
Hawkeye, the changes look great. Images all are properly licensed, and all of the other GA criteria are met. Am promoting the article now. Sasata (talk) 20:11, 9 June 2012 (UTC)