Talk:Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish'/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Hi, I'll be doing the GA review, I must say that the article looks pretty nice, it has a bit of FA potential, but it needs a lot more polishing before going to FAc (and I would advice a PR first).

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    Lead: "In the episode, Abraham "Grampa" Simpson one of fellow-veterans of the Second World War dies, leaving he and Mr. Burns as the only other living member of Grampa's war squad, the Flying Hellfish." I don't understand this section, Grampa dies, how can he be the only other living member with Mr. Burns?
    Lead: "The animation of the episode has been praised for it's action and underwater scenes and a lot of the staging in scenes was based on DC Comics's Sgt. Rock", this should be either rephrased, or made into two seperate sentences.
    Lead: Sgt. Rock, should be itacalized since it's a comic and per WP:ITALICS.
    Plot: "deteriorates after Grampa's senility and abrasiveness embarrasses Bart during..." embarrasses -> embarrass
    Plot: "...Bart dismisses it as fiction but suddenly Burns breaks in to take..." this is a pretty edgy sentence, as you read and you are interrupted, I would rephrase it as something like "...Bart dismisses it as fiction but is proven wrong when Burns suddenly breaks in to his room and tries to take..."
    Plot:"After activating the locator mechanism, the discover...", the discover? I think you mean "they".
    Production: "Jonathan Collier wrote the episode and he got the idea from several then-current stories...", how about "Jonathan Collier, who wrote the episode, got the idea after..."
    Production: Who is David Silverman?
    Production: "Jeffrey Lynch directed the episode and received help from Brad Bird and the two worked on a lot of complex staging shots." This is also a bit bumpy sentence; could it be rephrased to "Director Jeffrey Lynch received help from Brad Bird, with whom he worked on a lot of complex staging shots."
    Production: What's a "field day".
    Production: The section makes mention of the assasin attacking the retirement home, but this is not mentioned in the plot.
    Production: Who is Dexter Reed?
    Production: "Some of other animators that..." the word "the" should be added after of, but I think "Some of" can be deleted interily, which makes the sentence "Other anminators that..."
    Production: Sgt. Rock, should be itacalized since it's a comic and per WP:ITALICS.
    Production: The final paragraph is too short to be it's own, and should be merged into the section.
    Production: "Many of the paintings in the episode are based on real are that..." on real what? paintings, right?
    Done on all counts (I think). -- Scorpion0422 22:25, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Check.--Music26/11 14:31, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    Ref 2 (BBC) is actually for "Two bad neighbours", rather than "Raging Age Simpson".
    Fixed. -- Scorpion0422 22:25, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Check.--Music26/11 14:31, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Cultural references is too short of a section and should be merged into the production section.
    Well, cultural references is one of the stanard sections in these articles, so I would prefer to keep it. -- Scorpion0422 22:25, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    I get your point, but it's only two sentences. I you would like to keep it, it should be expanded.
    Done. -- Scorpion0422 14:46, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Since it's stated that the episode was praised for it's animation, can the image of the underwater sequence be moved into the Reception section? Of course, than it would be great if you could find a review by another critic than Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood who praised the animation.
    Well, other than Martyn and Wood, there were comments from supervising director Silverman and Foster said "wonderful animation" But I'll see if I can find anything else. -- Scorpion0422 22:25, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Let me know when you do.--Music26/11 14:31, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Sorry, I couldn't find anything reliable (I did, however, find a new source for The Simpsons Movie, so my search was not completely fruitless). -- Scorpion0422 14:46, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    I'll place the article on hold until the above issues are taken care off. Good luck.--Music26/11 12:04, 25 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    Thanks for the review!
    It looks good enough for GA Pass, now. Thanks for the quick response.--Music26/11 14:58, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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