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Talk:Caloola Club

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Draft accepted

[edit]

I have accepted this article. It is a nice historical piece. It is well referenced, and has no promotional aspects. --SmokeyJoe (talk) 11:23, 17 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

No promotional aspects? The first line of the body contains "The Caloola Club was founded by Allen Axel Strom and Allan M. Fox—two visionary conservationists—in 1945". No source is cited, and the opinion that they were visionary is unattributed, expressed instead in Wikipedia's voice.
Well referenced? The second paragraph of the body cites, to start with, a self-published blog, not something that should be referenced on Wikipedia. Even if it were reliable, the first two sources support that some members were students at Balmain Teachers' College, that Strom taught there, and that by 1954, the club had over 300 members. They don't support the claim that, "It drew a large part of its membership from students and former students of the Balmain Teachers' College" (emphasis mine). Nor do they say anything about Sydney Technical College.
The third paragraph starts off with, "A distinctive feature of the club was that it had a strong educative emphasis." The source says Strom provided knowledge, "and actively fermented critical analysis", and a member recalls that they carried works by botanists, ornithologists, and zoologists in their backpacks (a fairly widespread practice among hikers, judging from the field guides for sale at my local outdoor outfitter, even in this digital age). Claiming that those statements directly support "had a strong educative emphasis" is a stretch. They certainly don't support that whatever educative element it had was a "distinctive feature" of the club. That is purely the opinion of the Wikipedia author, and violates the prohibition on original research.
A Wikipedia article can be a Wikipedian's labor of love, fluidly written ("nice"), with plenty of little blue numbers scattered about, and still, as an encyclopedia article, have many problems. Seldom viewed, it might benefit from peer review. --Worldbruce (talk) 23:46, 2 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 4: "The Caloola Club, a forerunner of the National Parks Association, and its founder, Allen Strom, were instrumental in broadening the horizons of and inspiring hundreds of teachers to a deeper insight into their land, its processes, and its management. The Club provided a social environment for the common enjoyment and critical analysis of the landscape and its use by man while Strom provided inspiration, knowledge, and leadership and actively fermented critical analysis. Facts became pivots for discussion, not sacred ikons."
No surprise that 'hundreds of teachers' came from Balmain Teachers' College, the same place that Strom taught? TrimmerinWiki (talk) 03:48, 17 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]