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Talk:Raid on Abole oil exploration facility/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

This article needs some expansion before it is ready for GA status. The report of the event is quite short and doesn't give much information. In addition, the article gives no indication why this event took place (there is a bit, which is placed in the "Reactions" section for no apparent reason...can it be expanded and made into a "Background" section?). The article then leaves off at June 2007 with the government's intention to hunt down those responsible. Did anything ever come of this? Much of the information given in the lead section (which should be a summary of the article) is not given later in the article.

Some minor issues:

  1. The first paragraph is one sentence. Can it be split up?
  2. "massacre" is a word that should be avoided, as it editorializes. "attack" would work better.
  3. "According to it," -> "According to the report,"
  4. "the 50 or so" -> "approximately 50"
  5. "gunbattle" - two words
  6. "willfully killing" -> "killing"
  7. "point-blank range," - no comma needed
  8. "grenade" - why the quotation marks?
  9. "handed to the Red Cross, Red Cross officials and the rebels said" - try to avoid Red Cross Red Cross. This sentence and the one that follows are weak, as the organization making the statement should come at the beginning of the sentence. Found a better way --TheFEARgod (Ч) 14:34, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  10. Reference 7 isn't formatted correctly (no wikilink needed for the date, and no publisher or accessdate are given).
  11. Reference 9 is also missing information.
  12. Reference 11 is missing information.
  13. The url for "China oilfield in Ethiopia attacked" in the external links section should be updated.
  14. Would any related articles be useful in a "See also" section?

I will place this nomination on hold to allow for these concerns to be addressed and/or discussed. Any questions or comments can be left here, as I have placed this page on my watchlist. Best wishes, GaryColemanFan (talk) 18:47, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I will begin to address the issues, slowly perhaps. --TheFEARgod (Ч) 14:30, 22 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
1. done
14. done --TheFEARgod (Ч) 14:30, 22 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
13. how?
Sorry, looking back I can see that my suggestion wasn't clear. The page has moved, but the current url given is a redirect. Updating the url to the page where the information is now located shouldn't be a problem. Just click on the link, copy the url that it takes you to, and paste that into the article. GaryColemanFan (talk) 14:40, 22 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
11. Removed. The source was doubtful since the year is 1999. --TheFEARgod (Ч) 14:27, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Now the harder part. The Backgr. idea is good. --TheFEARgod (Ч) 14:34, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It has been over a week, and the major concerns have not been addressed. I am going to fail this nomination, but I encourage you to use these suggestions for future improvements to the article and bring it back to WP:GAN when they have been addressed. Best wishes, GaryColemanFan (talk) 14:50, 29 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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