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Talk:David Hillhouse Buel (priest)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:56, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • Per WP:LEAD, the article is less than 14,000 characters so one or two paragraphs instead of four would be expected in the lead.
    • I've condensed and reworded the lede. It should be more appropriately sized now. Ergo Sum 03:22, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Episcopal" is overlinked in the lead.
    • It is only linked once. Ergo Sum 03:00, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "confreres " I don't know what that is, perhaps worth linking?
    • It's one of those beautiful English words that has fallen into obscurity. I've replaced it. Ergo Sum 03:01, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "his last years New York City. " missing an "in"?
  • " on July 19, 1862 at" comma after 1862.
  • "Bearing the same, his..." sorry, I don't understand what this means?
    • Accidentally left out a word. It should make sense now. Ergo Sum 03:02, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " his father rose " we've lost track of whose father now.
    • I've rephrased a bit so that pronouns in the paragraph should be clearer. It's hard keeping grammatical track of multiple people with the same name. Ergo Sum 03:03, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " His ograndfather was" typo.
  • "Wilmers,[3] " why is ref placed there, does it need to be there?
    • I've rephrased the sentence so that the ref could be moved to the end of the clause. Ergo Sum 03:05, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from England.[2] " No need to link well-known geographical entities.
  • I think our readers know what "theater" is without needing to link it.
    • My general rule is that even if a concept is well-known, if it forms the prominent subject of a paragraph, it should be linked. Otherwise, major concepts would never be linked on wiki except in lists and other non-primary content. Ergo Sum 03:06, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need to link Canada either.
  • " In December, 1885," no need for that first comma.
  • "Buel oversaw construction of Ryan Gymnasium in 1905" complete sentence so use a period.
  • "programs.,[18] " remove period.
  • " in college football" I would call it college football first time round.
    • The first time it's mentioned, it's very clear that it's a college football program. The subsequent time would give the impression of all football without specifying that it's college football that is concerned. Ergo Sum 03:09, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " of a new Ryan Gymnasium" is this a thing? Or is it just called that named for someone called Ryan? And you say a "new Ryan Gym", was there an existing or old Ryan Gym?
    • Good observation. I've removed reference to a "new" gym. Ergo Sum 03:10, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "e university of a student who left to act" I think if his expulsion came as a result of him leaving for the baptism, this would read better as "e university of a student who had left to act".
  • " a professor mechanics and physics" of?
  • I don't think "inheritance" is needed to be linked.
  • Nor "nun".
    • Since nun is often used sloppily to refer to a number of related but different things, I've linked it her so that a reader knows it is actually a nun that is meant. Ergo Sum 03:13, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in Point Allterton, Massachusetts in " comma after Massachusetts.
  • " by those who seek salacious" odd tense, sought?
    • Perhaps the progressive tense will do? Ergo Sum 03:15, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Allerton Heights, Massachusetts called" comma again.

That's all I have, so I'll put the article on hold for now. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:14, 2 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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