Talk:Jonathon Blum
![]() | Jonathon Blum was one of the Sports and recreation good articles, but it has been removed from the list. There are suggestions below for improving the article to meet the good article criteria. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake. | ||||||||||||
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Current status: Delisted good article |
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Draft Distinction
[edit]He is not the first player from California to be taken in the first round of the NHL draft. Scott Parker was selected in the 1998 NHL draft in the first round and he is from Hanford. Travismills (talk) 01:15, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
Birthplace
[edit]Looks like NHL.com probably has Blum's birthplace wrong. The WHL, Vancouver Giants, the TSN draft broadcast, newspapers [1], USA Hockey [2] all say Santa Margarita. NHL.com's the only source I can find that says Long Beach instead. -→Buchanan-Hermit™/?! 04:09, 23 June 2007 (UTC)
I think Rancho Santa Margarita is his hometown. I notice that the WHL site says hometown, it doesn't say anything about him born there. I don't know what the other sites say, but I know that some sites will list the players' hometown as their birthplace if they don't know where that player was born. Canuck85 04:25, 23 June 2007 (UTC)
- I know the kid lives in southern OC, not Long Beach. I played with him recently at the Aliso Viejo Ice Palace which is about 10 minutes from rancho santa margarita. I wouldn't be surprised if his birthplace is Long Beach, though the new article on nhl.com says things like "growing up on the streets of Long Beach." Then again, you can't believe everything you read. Maybe his family moved to southern OC or that's where he grew up. Either way, it's safe to say that's where he is right now. JHMM13(Disc) 20:31, 14 July 2007 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]- This review is transcluded from Talk:Jonathon Blum/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: -- BigDom 17:32, 20 January 2010 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]- Lead
- The prose is fine, but the lead should summarise the whole article and it contains nothing from the "Early life" or "International play" sections
- "During his major junior career in the Western Hockey League (WHL) Blum won a President's Cup as WHL champions in 2006 and a Memorial Cup in 2007 with the Vancouver Giants." --> "During his major junior career in the Western Hockey League (WHL) with the Vancouver Giants, Blum won a President's Cup as WHL champions in 2006 and a Memorial Cup in 2007."
- Early life
- "a couple years" --> "a couple of years"
- "NHLer" isn't a word, maybe something like "NHL player" would be better
- I don't think it's necessary to go into such detail about his mother's cancer. Just saying that she had cancer, was treated and then recovered in May 2006 is enough.
- Playing career
- The first paragraph could do with a couple more references, such as citing the sentence about the plus-minus award.
- "plus/minus" --> "plus-minus"
- In the second paragraph, the part about him finishing second among league defensemen should be cited since it's a pretty strong claim.
- In the next sentence "would also set" --> "also set". This could do with a reference as well.
- Why are there three very short paragraphs at the end of this section. Can they not be merged together?
- International play
- "but failed to medal once more" --> "but once again failed to win a medal"
- Career statistics
- This section looks OK
- Awards
- The awards without cites need references.
- Records
- Same as the awards, they need refs
A pretty well-written article overall, once the few comments are addressed I'd be happy to pass this. Message me if you have any questions about the review. Thanks, -- BigDom 18:07, 20 January 2010 (UTC)
Reply
[edit]First of all, thanks for taking the time to review. I addressed all the above issues as best I could. I think they're all properly taken care of, but I was unsure what from the "Early life" section I should include in the lead. I simply mentioned his birth place and where he was raised. Let me know if there's anything else I need to take care of. Thanks again! Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 07:23, 21 January 2010 (UTC)
- Article looks fine now those comments have been dealt with. Just done a couple of minor fixes myself but I'll gladly pass this now. -- BigDom 17:28, 21 January 2010 (UTC)
You should mention his early childhood as playing street hockey with the neighbors. Played every week and loved it! Miss you Ashley!!! — Preceding unsigned comment added by 98.189.161.8 (talk) 23:00, 9 June 2015 (UTC)
Criteria check
[edit]GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- B. MoS compliance:
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
Awesome! Thanks. Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 01:03, 22 January 2010 (UTC)
External links modified
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- Corrected formatting/usage for http://mastercardmemorialcup.com/cuphistory.php?y=2006
- Corrected formatting/usage for http://mastercardmemorialcup.com/cuphistory.php?y=2007
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110708113719/http://communities.canada.com/theprovince/blogs/dubhub/archive/2010/04/28/connauton-old-oiler-fan-turned-canuck-prospect.aspx to http://communities.canada.com/theprovince/blogs/dubhub/archive/2010/04/28/connauton-old-oiler-fan-turned-canuck-prospect.aspx
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110613120650/http://news.bostonherald.com/sports/hockey/bruins/view/2009_04_05_Tim_Thomas_deal_puts_cap_pressure_on_Chiarelli/srvc%3Dhome%26position%3Drecent to http://news.bostonherald.com/sports/hockey/bruins/view/2009_04_05_Tim_Thomas_deal_puts_cap_pressure_on_Chiarelli/srvc%3Dhome%26position%3Drecent
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External links modified
[edit]Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 10 external links on Jonathon Blum. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
- Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/sports/columns/article_1700915.php
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110706213119/http://whl.ca/stats/show/type/records/ls_season/227/subtype/10 to http://whl.ca/stats/show/type/records/ls_season/227/subtype/10
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20121106043507/http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/sports/story.html?id=8dfea63b-8c0b-420e-abb3-9d617e02a156 to http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/sports/story.html?id=8dfea63b-8c0b-420e-abb3-9d617e02a156
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110706213124/http://whl.ca/stats/show/type/top_scorers/ls_season/229/subtype/1 to http://whl.ca/stats/show/type/top_scorers/ls_season/229/subtype/1
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20121106043558/http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/story.html?id=fc7b3ae2-16af-4d64-85f6-004b37d04b47&k=4015 to http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/story.html?id=fc7b3ae2-16af-4d64-85f6-004b37d04b47&k=4015
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20121106043638/http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/sports/story.html?id=f3d17f3c-32f3-41ce-a8dc-9c902769947f to http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/sports/story.html?id=f3d17f3c-32f3-41ce-a8dc-9c902769947f
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- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20121106043759/http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/sports/story.html?id=10c6faf2-39cb-4596-bae0-4991b3b9a651 to http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/sports/story.html?id=10c6faf2-39cb-4596-bae0-4991b3b9a651
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20090426073928/http://www2.canada.com/theprovince/news/sports/story.html?id=51f2c288-a73b-4120-a943-545fba320dcb to http://www2.canada.com/theprovince/news/sports/story.html?id=51f2c288-a73b-4120-a943-545fba320dcb
- Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20081225133920/http://www.usahockey.com/world_junior_championships_2009/default.aspx?NAV=AF_03&id=249578&DetailedNews=yes to http://www.usahockey.com/world_junior_championships_2009/default.aspx?NAV=AF_03&id=249578&DetailedNews=yes
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GA Reassessment
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
- Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • • Most recent review
- Result: Delisted. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 20:46, 3 February 2024 (UTC)
Article is slanted towards pre-2012 career. Later career needs to be expanded in order to comprehensively cover this topic. Z1720 (talk) 20:00, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
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