Talk:Cherry (American wrestler)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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GA review (see here for criteria)

This is a nice piece of work, I just picked up a few things.

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
"she was the manager of the group, The Throw-Backs, later called The Untouchables, with Deuce Shade and Dice Domino." - wording suggests that the latter pair were co-managers with her, suggest "with" be changed to something like "consisting of"
"Drew used the ring name Cherry Pie" - redundant to the end of the previous para, consolidate the two together
"manager of the tag team The Throw-Backs (Deuce Shade and Domino Dice), her storyline brother," - which one was her storyline brother? Needs clarifying
"the team went an image change" - "went" should be "underwent", surely?
" including changing their name to "The Untouchables" and dropping the "Pie" part of her ring name to become known as "Cherry" - this isn't really grammatically correct. I suggest losing "including", adding a full stop after "Untouchables" and then starting a new sentence with something like "Drew also dropped....."
"In their first match with WWE.....the team underwent a name change" - I presume they didn't literally change their name during the match, so maybe replace "In" with "For"
" following a distraction from McCool on the April 18 episode of SmackDown" - needs a comma after McCool
"in a WWE.com exclusive video, she was dumped by Deuce and Domino for Maryse when they " - sentence starts with a small letter.
Done. Though, I'm having a hard time coming up with something for the storyline brother sentence. Do you have a suggestion you can throw at me? -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
How about "the tag team The Throw-Backs, comprising Deuce Shade and Domino Dice, the former/latter (delete as appropriate, I don't know which it is) of whom was her storyline brother" -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:07, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've also just noticed that here he is called Domino Dice, whereas in the lead he is called Dice Domino - which is correct? -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 20:09, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Oops, I missed that. Its "Dice Domino". Also, I think I got it. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 21:13, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Is anything known about her life outside the ring? Family, relationships, business interests, that sort of thing?
No, unfortunately. I had no luck finding information anything regarding her early life. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
Good luck improving the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:28, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the review. -- ThinkBlue (Hit BLUE) 17:05, 8 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Something seems a bit screwy with the bullet points in the "wrestlers managed" section. If you can fix that, I'll pass the article -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:37, 9 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed, I think. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 16:21, 9 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Cool, I'm going to pass it now. Well done -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 15:16, 10 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]