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Talk:Steve Longa/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Right, time for another. From the top of the pile this time.

Lead
  • "..tackles by a freshmen.." Should be "freshman".  Done
  • "Longa forgoed his final year.." I think it should be "forwent".  Done
Early life
  • "Longa lived in Yaoundé, Cameroon before moving to the United States at the age of 12." Would it be worth mentioning in the lead that he is from Cameroon; it seems at least slightly noteworthy?
    • Due to the lead saying "American football", a lot of American football bios don't have any nationality stated in the lead to avoid the weird "Cameroonian American football player" and because probably around 95% of American football players are American (also see this for lead examples). I have also seen some articles written like "Cameroonian professional American football player". Also, is Longa an American now too? I could change it to "Cameroonian-born" (which I have now done) Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:39, 23 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "..and was recruited to play football." Clarify which code of football here; while it is in the lead, I always think it worth repeating on first mention in the body.  Done
  • What is "BPSL-Carpenter"? There is a link for BPSL, but no indication what Carpenter might represent.  Done
  • Provide a wikilink or explanation for sacks, rushing yards, and rushing touchdowns.  Done
  • As above for "NJIC-Meadowlands B". In this case, I can see Meadowlands is a division. Does this mean he was named on the "First team" honors for the Meadowlands (B?) division of the NJIC? Greater clarity is needed on these.  Done
  • What is the 2011 Chesapeake Bowl?  Done
  • "He committed to Rutgers in May 2011." Spell this out a bit more: "He committed to play college football for Rutgers in May 2011." Or similar (assuming I'm understanding it right.)  Done
College career
  • "..by any NCAA Division I freshmen.." Should be "freshman".  Done
  • Explain "forced fumbles", "fumble recovery", "pass breakups".  Done
  • "..with lineman Marcus Thompson." What is a "lineman"?  Done
Referencing