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Talk:Yellow (Coldplay song)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. I choose to review it because I read the article and found it very interesting and clearly written, even though I knew nothing about the band or the song. I have read it through several times now and find nothing significantly wrong with it. It is well written, well organized and well referenced. The images are fine. I will be adding comments about a few suggested minor wording changes, as well as anything else I may notice. —Mattisse (Talk) 18:25, 12 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Nelson said "look at the stars ..." and, upon gazing at the stars, started the conception of the song..." - This sentence seems ungrammatical. Maybe "Nelson said "look at the stars ..." and, while he was gazing at the stars, the song's conception began to develop in his mind." Or, at least "Nelson said "look at the stars ..." and, upon gazing at the stars, he started the conception of the song." That phrase needs a subject.
  • Next sentence has a similar problem: "Looking skywards, and feeling generally inspired, the song's main melody, consisting of a chord pattern, popped into Martin's head." The subject of the sentence is "the song's main melody", yet it was not the melody that was "looking skywards and feeling generally inspired".
  • "despite not being serious towards the song," (wording) - despite not being serious about the song - or despite not taking the song seriously - or some variation of that.
  • "his idea worked out when he had the tempo of the verse" - (suggestion) - his idea worked out when he found the tempo of the verse?
  • "When Jonny Buckland, the band's guitarist, started playing on it and supplemented ideas" - (suggestion} - When Jonny Buckland, the band's guitarist, started playing it and supplemented it with his ideas?
  • "He looked around the studio and found the telephone directory Yellow Pages, which happened to be situated nearest to him, hence the title." - (suggestion) - remove "which happened to be situation nearest to him" as this information is unimportant and makes it sound like he got the idea not only from the Yellow Pages (the most important information, from my point of view) but because it was situated nearest to him (which seems irrelevant to me as the Yellow Pages are big and can be easily seen in a room unless they are hidden).
  • "That night, with the quick composition," - (suggestion) - That night, having quickly composed the song, they recorded it.
  • "In the time, Coldplay has released an EP and a single that Nelson heard of after his manager gave him a copy of it." - I do not understand this sentence.
  • How do you account for the fact the references do not agree on where it was recorded?
    • Im trying to get more sources and understand what is the real history. But for now, as is. The former claim is supported by a book while the next one is a news article. --Efe (talk) 07:36, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nelson said it lost the "feel" of it" - What does "it" refer to?
  • "To better the song" - to improve the song
  • "They did the recording two or three times" - They recorded it two or three times
  • "referencing to his unrequited love" - referring to his unrequited love
  • "most of the people have considered "Yellow" as a happy song" - most people
  • "The single includes the songs "Help Is Round The Corner" and "No More Keeping My Feet" - I though a single included only one song.
  • "Although the band supposed it would decline inside the Top 20, they would consider it a triumph as the album's lead single, "Shiver", has only earned them the 35th position." - Do you mean - Although the band assumed its popularity would decline once it was in the Top 20, they considered it a triumph even though the album's lead single, "Shiver", only earned them the 35th position?
  • But then you say, "The single did reach, and since its second week sales went stronger, it has peaked at number four." The "single did reach" what? Does this mean that the single did better than the 35th position? This is unclear to me.
  • "would sync up" - is this normal jargon or do you mean "would be in sync"?
  • for their "surprise smash" "Yellow". - is this supposed to be one quote? Or is it a quote with the name of the song following it?
  • I will put this article on hold until these issues are addressed. —Mattisse (Talk) 18:02, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "captured over 10,000 audiences" in the Live performances section looks a bit dodgy... --Candlewicke (Talk) 02:52, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The prose needs improving: e.g. "Helped by massive airplay and usage in promotions, the song has ushered the band to massive popularity." - repetition of "massive" in same sentence. Also, "Not long after, despite not being serious towards the song, his idea worked out when he had the tempo of the verse." - These are just examples. The prose needs refining.
  • 'Outside, there were few lights on and the stars in the sky were visible and "just amazing", according to the song's co-producer, Ken Nelson. Nelson said "look at the stars ..." and, upon gazing at the stars, started the conception of the song. Looking skywards, and feeling generally inspired, the song's main melody, consisting of a chord pattern, popped into Martin's head. At first, Martin did not take it seriously "as he relayed the tune to the rest of the band in his worst Neil Young [a Canadian singer-songwriter] impersonation voice".' - These quotes appear not to have reference sources. —Mattisse (Talk) 20:14, 13 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments

  • So "just amazing" is sourced by the references much farther down in the paragraph?
  • "Coldplay performed "Yellow" and "effortlessly" captured over 10,000 audiences. Needs reference for "effortlessly" as possible POV. Also, what does 10,000 audiences mean? That they gave 10,000 performances before 10,000 different audiences?
  • "To better the song" just doesn't sound like formal, encyclopedia English to me.
  • In general, the FAC editors agree on such guidlelines as Wikipedia:Layout, Wikipedia:Citing sources or Wikipedia:Footnotes that the format should be a version of the following
Good work! —Mattisse (Talk) 00:46, 15 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Final GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

—Mattisse (Talk) 00:46, 15 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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