Talk:2016 6 Hours of Silverstone/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 22:36, 9 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]


And again. Trying to get this backlog under control!

Lead
  • "Lotterer initially pulled away from the field but lost the lead to Mark Webber in Porsche's No. 1 car and remained in the position when he handed the vehicle over to co-driver Brendon Hartley." This sentence is a bit confused as it switches who it is talking about halfway through. Maybe reword to "but lost the lead to Mark Webber in Porsche's No. 1 car, who remained in the position"
  • "This handed the position to Neel Jani in the sister No. 2 car but lost it Tréluyer when Jani's co-driver Marc Lieb was delayed by a slower vehicle." Couple of issues here: Firstly, I assume it should be "lost it to Tréluyer"? Secondly, it might work better as something like "This handed the position to Neel Jani in the sister No. 2 car, but the lead switched again to Tréluyer when..."
  • "..after being bulked by slower cars.." Is this meant to be blocked? If not, what does bulked mean?
    • It means he was delayed by slower cars getting in his way. MWright96 (talk) 07:11, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "..first podium result in the series since the 2013 6 Hours of Fuji." In the lead, it is probably sufficient to say "..since 2013."
  • "Sam Bird and Davide Rigon in the No. 71 AF Corse Ferrari was unchallenged.." Plural, so should be "were unchallenged".
  • "The Le Mans Grand Touring Amateur (LMGTE Am) category was led throughout the final stages by François Perrodo, Emmanuel Collard and Rui Águas and won their first.." Should be "who won", not "and won".
Background
  • "33 cars were.." Don't start a sentence with a digit. (MOS:NUMNOTES)
  • "..so the goals are very, very high.[11] Audi No. 8.." Close the quote.
Practice
  • "..to allow the stricken Toyota to be extracted from the gravel trap and was able to return to the pit lane.." Change to "and it was able to"
Qualifying
  • "..a pole setting.." Hyphenate: "pole-setting"
  • "..2,297 seconds ahead.." 2.297? Otherwise, boy, did the rest do rubbish!
  • (As before.) Per MOS:ACCESS, don't just use bold text to indicate something; add a symbol too.
Race
  • "..allowing Nelson Panciatici to take advantage and overtook the Manor driver.." Present tense, so "overtake" not "overtook". Alternatively, you could rewrite as "..which allowed Nelson Panciatici to take advantage, and he overtook the Manor driver.."
  • "Christensen's right-front tyre was punctured at Becketts corner and made a pit stop for a replacement.." Change to "and he made".
  • "After changing drivers in the No. 42 Strakka Racing Gibson Danny Watts.." Add a comma; "..Racing Gibson, Danny Watts..".
  • "..extinguish smoke bellowing from his car[35] The race resumed.." Missing a full-stop.
  • "Tréluyer was bulked by slower traffic.." Bulked again?
  • "..when Jani was delayed a Porsche LMGTE car.." Presumably should be "..delayed by a.."
  • "..heading into Copse corner and retired from the event." Change to "..and he retired.."
  • "..Racing Oreca competing the class podium.." I think this should be "completing" rather than "competing".
  • Same as above for the use of bold in the table.

As with the others, a good piece of work with just some minor prose quibbles from me. Harrias talk 22:36, 9 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

    • @Harrias: That is all of the points raised in the review addressed. Have also made some other copy edit changes where appropriate. MWright96 (talk) 07:11, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thanks for the speedy work, well done. Harrias talk 09:00, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
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