Talk:Alexander Onassis/GA2

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 05:29, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

First of all, I'd like to say this is much better than it was when I first reviewed it several months ago. Well done on the improvements. My concerns are as follows:

Per MOS:BIO, only nationality should be in the lead, which in this case is American
"He had one sibling, Christina Onassis. Onassis and his sister....." → "He and his sister Christina"
"Onassis began a relationship with a woman several years his senior, the French model Odile Rodin" → "Onassis began a relationship with the French model Odile Rodin, a woman several years his senior"
"Aristotle Onassis considered having his son's body cryogenically frozen with the Life Extension Society, but was persuaded against it" is not supported by the given source; please resource or remove
Christina should be unlinked in "Family tensions"; she was already linked in "Early life"
"Fully" would be a better word than "truly" in "who never truly recovered"
A source doesn't have to be used more than once in a row within a paragraph per WP:OVERCITE
Try not to have really short paragraphs per MOS:PARAGRAPHS

Placing this on hold for seven days. It meets all the GA criteria except for one verification issues and several bits of prose. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:29, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your kind words, that was a brilliantly thorough review. I've made the changes you suggested. Gareth E Kegg (talk) 13:17, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

My pleasure. One last thing, though; can you please provide the page number(s) used in new reference for potential body freezing? Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:40, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed the ref. Pg. 178. Gareth E Kegg (talk) 15:49, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA! Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:13, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Wow! Thank you. God knows why I started on his page in the first place. I'll have a go at his parents and sister next! Gareth E Kegg (talk) 17:55, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]