Talk:Ali Hewson/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Lemurbaby (talk · contribs) 19:18, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Comments[edit]

Prose:

In the lead: "Hewson has been mentioned as a possible Labour Party candidate for President of Ireland but no such attempt has been made." This would be better if it were rephrased in the active voice.
- I've changed this to "Tabloids have mentioned Hewson as a possible ..." Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"She was especially set against the THORP component being opened." It would be good if you could rephrase this to give the reader a better sense of what this is without having to click the link.
- I've expanded this out to Thermal Oxide Reprocessing Plant, clarified that it was under construction, and I've added a link in the sentence before for nuclear reprocessing. To try to explain here what nuclear reprocessing does seems out of scope. Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"She was aware from the outset of her activities that her own wealth would make her vulnerable to "Ladies who lunch" remarks" - readers may not know what's meant by this type of remark. This sounds like something she may have stated herself, in which case I'd recommend simply including it as a direct quote in order to avoid adding interpretation in order to explain what's meant here.
- I've expanded this to explain what it means in this context, per the source. Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Explain "abseil"
- In American English this is rappelling, but abseiling is the British English term, which is what this article uses overall. See for example these Google News Archive links, where the term is in common use in newspapers in Britain, Ireland, New Zealand, etc but not by any newspapers in the United States. Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Explain BNFL
- I've expanded this out to British Nuclear Fuels Limited, which should be self-descriptive. Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Her only publicly known musical performance is a 2012 duet with her husband whilst taking on Lady Gaga's "Telephone" " - This is unclear for me - please rephrase
- Completely redone now, should be clearer. Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work as always. I'm so glad for the work you and the other U2 Wikiproject members continue to put into these awesome articles. I just learned a lot, and that after being an enormous U2 fan for nearly 20 years. Lemurbaby (talk) 19:18, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much for the review and the kind words. I didn't know most of this either until I started reading old newspaper articles. In addition to these responses, I also tweaked a few of your direct copyedits. I removed both my "less affluent" and your "working class" characterisation of Raheny, because looking over other sources I see conflicting portrayals of the town's socio-economic status. The article already describes her father as an electrician and her mother as a housewife who hoped her daughter would become a secretary, and I think that gets across the family's status. And I qualified the initial 'songs inspired by' language, because Stokes (the main source) usually doesn't claim certainty, including for "Another Time, Another Place". Wasted Time R (talk) 15:19, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Looks great! Definitely GA material. Congratulations on a well-researched article that no doubt required considerable scouring of sources. Lemurbaby (talk) 16:16, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again! Wasted Time R (talk) 00:38, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]