Talk:Amnesia (Roxen song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will start this review soon, though it may take a few days since I am working rather often. --K. Peake 09:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Producers shouldn't be listed under their surnames in the infobox since this is not a track listing, unless those are the stage names.
• ""Amnesia" lyrically talks combatting" → "the song's lyrics discuss combatting"
• Are you sure the "by music critics" part should be used when it's only two sources cited that made the comparison and if not, maybe use music critics to start the following sentence?
  • I would have suggested for that information to stay there since the similarities are really evident and since the reviewers are reliable. I can remove it, though, if it bothers you. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:37, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

• You should just remove the mention of music critics from this sentence, as the info itself is relevant but they shouldn't be mentioned when there was only two. --K. Peake 06:35, 11 July 2021 (UTC)

• "applauded "Amnesia", with praise concentrated on the track's" → "applauded the former, with praise concentrated on its"
• Wikilink music video
• "over her fears." → "over her surrounding fears." to be specific
• ""Amnesia" as Romania's entry" → "Roxen as Romania's contestant and "Amnesia" as the nation's entry"
• Mention the semi-finals were "where she placed 12th"

Background and release

• Shouldn't "better known under the name of" be "better known under the stage name of" instead to create less confusion?
• Maybe mention that the promotional campaign was for artists to be specific, especially since it's relevant in a song article?
  • I corrected that. I think it's relevant here since the reader may ask themselves why the song was released by Warner and not by Roxen's label Global. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:40, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• "available in stores" → "available to the public" per the source
• "on the same day on" → "on the same day via" to be less repetitive

Composition and reception

• Change the prose preceding ballad to swapping the order of melancholic and dark, per which one [6] mentions next to the word
• "that had a similar" → "that has a similar"
• "but which is a departure" → "though marked a departure"
• Remove Wiwibloggs introduction to Percy since it is already known that she writes for that publication from the previous section
• Change "modern and youthful" to "modern and stunning" per the source
• The "thumping finale" part is not sourced, also the verses are called "soulful" and mention the song ends on a chorus per the source
  • There was a glitch with the references given. I fixed that now, so you should go over your previous comments again. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• "alongside the song's catchy nature" → "alongside its catchy nature"
• Remove comma after ESCUnited
• AutoTune → Auto-Tune
• "as "poor" and as having a" → "as "poor" and noted its"
• Why is "Get Up" piped to a Eurovision Song Contest article?
  • It was one of the tracks shortlisted to represent Czech Republic that year. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• Are you sure "selected" is the correct term for the countries?
  • "selected" means "a few", so yes, it's good to use here. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• To make the second para four sentences, shouldn't you split the Single Tip ranking into another sentence "The song further charted at number 26 on..."?
  • I think this is unnecessary since we would have a lot of short sentences then. I guess the length is okay. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• Pipe Ultratip Bubbling Under to Ultratip per MOS:LINK2SECT

• No, I am only talking about this sentence... the others can remain as they are and this is the one that can be split due to the second chart having a comma after the position is listed. --K. Peake 06:35, 11 July 2021 (UTC)

Lyrical interpretation

• "delves on combatting" → "delves into combatting"
• "referring to this" → "with Roxen referring to this"
• Why is [...] used before the line about people when this is next to the previous one in the actual source?
  • There is a glitch in the source itself. They suggest that the lyric ending in "lose control" and the one starting with "people" are next to each other in the song, where there are some more inbetween in the song. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:51, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

Music video and promotion

• Wikilink music video on the img text
• Remove the "for "Amnesia"" part after accompanying music video
• "and the Eurovision Song Contest" → "and the Eurovision Song Contest's"
• "elaborated that it" → "explained that it"
• The ESCXtra source does not directly state that she performed her Eurovision entry; try to find a source that does so
  • I personally think this is not needed since that is the whole purpose of the event, and that is why the participants from (almost) all the other countries are invited. The Eurovision entry is alway performed by the artists. Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:54, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

At Eurovision

Before Rotterdam

• "Like for the cancelled" → "Following on from the cancelled"
• Remove pipe on 2021 contest
• "broadcaster TVR's collaboration with the singer's label Global Records." → "TVR's collaboration with Global Records."
• Which source actually says the jury selected "Amnesia" as the entry? Also, you don't need a comma before and; move the refs to the end of the sentence instead.
• "to the contest venue" → "to the contest's venue"

In Rotterdam

• Img looks good!
• "on 18 and 20 May," → "on 18 and 20 May, respectively,"
• Pipe final to Eurovision Song Contest 2021#Final
• Change "Big 5" to "Big Five" and pipe to Big Five (Eurovision) per MOS:LINK2SECT
• Shouldn't you pipe the different countries to their Eurovision articles?
  • This is unnecessary. Plus, we would have to link the countries to their "X in the Eurovision Song Contest" not "X in the Eurovision Song Contest 2021" articles since their Big Five status is not in 2021 only. We only link countries to their 2021 articles. Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:05, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• Pipe first semi-final to Eurovision Song Contest 2021#Semi-final 1
• "on 9 and 12 May," → "on 9 and 12 May 2021,"
• "an oversided hoody," → "an oversized hoodie,"
• "execute an "elaborated"" → "execute an "elaborate"" per the sourcing
• "and the staging" → "and the show's staging"
• "on the LED screen." → "on the screen." to avoid being repetitive
• "prominently belts out a" → "attempts to belt out a"
  • she does not only attempt to do it, she also does it :) Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:05, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
• Reintroduction to the publication Meersman writes for is not needed
• Either remove the "beautiful and symbolic" part or reword the prose to specify that the latter used this quote

Points awarded to Romania

• "for the Grand Final;" → "for the grand final;"
• "which included ten" → "which included 10" per MOS:NUM
• "and ten from" → "and 10 from"
• Shouldn't you add the appropriate ref to the table?
  • I think this in not necessary since its content is already cited and sourced in the para above it. Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:07, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

Track listing

• Good

Charts

• Good

Release history

• Shouldn't Warner be piped to Warner Music Poland?

References

• Copyvio score looks a bit too high at 42.9%; cut down direct quoting from Wiwibloggs a bit to fix this
• Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 1, 5, 7, 8, 9 and 13
• Wikilink Music Business Worldwide on ref 4
• Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 10
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 14 and format the date parameter correctly so its title does not show up in the article
• Pipe Eurovision.de to Eurovision Song Contest
• Pipe Romania Television to TVR (TV network) on ref 22
• Why is European Broadcasting Union formatted differently on ref 44 from all of the other ones?

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed; sorry about the slow review, I've been quite busy. --K. Peake 20:12, 24 June 2021 (UTC)

Hello @Kyle Peake: and @Cartoon network freak:. I responded to few of the comments above and archived few references; I saw @Cartoon network freak wasn't present for a certain time, so I hope it was okay. My gratitude to both of you!--Lorik17 (talk) 09:35, 28 June 2021 (UTC)

• • @Kyle Peake: Thank you very much for your review, and sorry for responding so late, but I was really busy with school and personal stuff :/ Things are looking better now, though :) I have solved your comments except for those I left responses on. Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:10, 4 July 2021 (UTC)

• Cartoon network freak It is fine since I have work anyway, I have now left comments where we are at disagreements. --K. Peake 06:35, 11 July 2021 (UTC)

• Kyle Peake  Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 09:57, 12 July 2021 (UTC)

• Cartoon network freak ✓ Pass now, I re-added the critical reception to the lead since you must have gotten confused with what I wanted removed about music critics from there. --K. Peake 11:27, 12 July 2021 (UTC)