Talk:Battle of Corycus/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:51, 6 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:51, 6 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Image appropriately licensed.
First read through looks good, but I'll make another in a few days.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:49, 10 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Link Hellespont

Hellespont is linked at first mention (in the Background section).--Catlemur (talk) 02:48, 13 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Quite right, sorry about that.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:34, 13 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

three weeks, according to Livy’s Ab Urbe Condita Libri this might be better separated with a semi-colon or split out and combined with the following sentence

Done

Sorry, but I don't think that the semi-colon really works there. The problem is that you have a fact about the length of time that the fleet lingered at Delos and two people who present explanations as to why. I think that the explanations should be grouped together to read better, I'm just unsure how to best phrase it. Think on it.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:33, 14 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Altered it a bit, have a look.--Catlemur (talk) 18:27, 14 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Mention of the Rhodians in the middle para of the prelude section was a bit of a surprise. Shouldn't they have been mentioned in the previous paragraph as having declared war?

Done

This is confusing allies to safely sail to Phocaea where they were reinforced by the Pergamene navy, bringing the total of Pergamene ships to 24 triremes and 26 apertae There's no earlier mention of anything more than 3 Pergamese ships, there should be something explaining when and where they rendezvoused with the Roman, etc., ships.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:32, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Sturmvogel 66: The source says that the three Pergamene ships were at Delos so they sailed jointly with the Romans from there. The source does not clarify whether they had sailed with the Romans from some other point earlier. We know that the Pergamenes had dispatched an army to mainland Greece during the first phase of the war but had to turn back to Asia Minor after the Seleucids invaded their homeland.--Catlemur (talk) 20:28, 13 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This one reads better this time around, I dunno why. Insufficiency of caffeine in the blood stream? Could be.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:38, 14 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]