Talk:Ben Kean

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Comments[edit]

Well, hi, NP. The first paragraph of your article needs some more copyediting. You have "is" where you need "his." You also need to remember that your Wikipedia audience is international; therefore you need to write that your guy was "an American" scientist, doctor, writer, etc. Keep your words for the rest of the sentence. I notice, also, that you repeat yourself unnecessarily in the first paragraph. While there is frequently some overlap between information in the summary first paragraph and other parts of the article, there should not be repetition within the first paragraph.Georgiasouthernlynn (talk) 18:30, 18 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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