Talk:Bioecological model/GA2
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Delldot (talk · contribs) 17:21, 18 January 2013 (UTC)
Hi, thanks for improving the article, I can see you've worked hard on it. It is a good start, but I'm going to fail this GA nom again unfortunately. The concerns brought up in the prior GA review and by other commenters have not fully been addressed. Namely:
- The language is too jargony and difficult to understand for someone who has no special knowledge of the field (our main readership). For example:
- Based on the interactions of proposed elements of the PPCT model, appropriate statistical analyses of PPCT data would likely include explorations of mediation and moderation effects, as well as multilevel modeling of data to account for the nesting of different components of the model. That should be rewritten into plain English.
- Define (or better, replace) terms like 'bidirectional influences' and 'situational and proximal causes' in the text.
- Simplify wording: He focused on predicting a pattern of associations among ecological, genetic, and cognitive variables as a function of proximal processes.
- Explain what these are in the text, don't just link: "ecological validity and ecological experiments"
- A major concern is that there are still citations needed:
- There are no citations for the paragraph beginning, The development of ecological systems theory arose because Bronfenbrenner noted a lack of focus.
- Citation needed for the paragraph about Lewin's life space beginning with the sentence The life space that contains all the events in the past, present...
- Images needed. Perhaps a diagram to illustrate the four ecological systems, or other charts or illustrations to illustrate.
- In general, I think the article needs a major copy edit, rewriting a lot of it so it's more clearly explained and easier for a layperson to understand.
If at any point you're interested in working on the article, whether or not for the purpose of GA status, I'm happy to help however you need. Also let me know if you need any clarification or explanation about anything here or on Wikipedia. Thanks again for improving the article. delldot ∇. 17:29, 18 January 2013 (UTC)