Talk:Brunei at the 2004 Summer Olympics/GA1
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Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk · contribs) 10:20, 22 July 2016 (UTC)
Grabbing this for a review.
- This hadn't occured to me before when reading your articles, but is this technically correct? "Brunei, as Brunei Darussalam, competed at the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece, from 13 to 29 August 2004" My query is that they didn't compete between the 13 to 29, only on the days which the relevent events were held. Would it be more accurate to say "... Athens, Greece, which took place between 13 to 29 August 2004"?
- "The country's participation at Athens marked its fourth appearance at the Summer Olympics" I think "in Athens" would be better than "at Athens".
- Done.
- "of whom was a middle-distance runner" I think you can swap the "of whom" for a "who" and make it flow better.
- Done.
- For the sake of keeping things tidy, I'd just combine the second and third paragraphs of the lead, since the third one is a single sentence. It can just be placed at the end of the second paragraph instead.
- Done.
- Background query - not sure I follow... how did it participate without athletes?
- Under Athletics, you can drop the mention of being the flag bearer, as you mentioned it in the previous paragraph.
- Done
That's the lot. A nice succinct article which covers the topic. Miyagawa (talk) 10:20, 22 July 2016 (UTC)