Talk:Charles Duke/GA1

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Reviewer: Kees08 (talk · contribs) 16:10, 15 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Images

All images reviewed for copyright. Kees08 (Talk) 16:36, 15 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

What do you think of the Naval Academy photo? I created that one myself. I found the pic of his test pilot class on Commons, but it was not tagged with any of the astronauts. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:21, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Actually I had spent a lot of time reviewing that one, specifically looking for if Lucky Bag was considered PD or not. I did not see anything that indicated that it was. The military photos we have are all similar though, and we did receive a response which is somewhat documented in the deletion request. Not sure if we can have any military portraits like those until they fall into the public domain. Kees08 (Talk) 16:53, 22 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
There's no copyright notices, archives.org put the book up on its suite, and the US Naval Academy used a smaller version of the image on its site. So I thought it was okay. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:21, 24 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • EVA time in infobox differs from article
    Yeah. Set it to what the article says. I've checked Orloff, Wilde and Portee, and everyone is agreed that the surface EVAs were 20:14, and then there was another 1:23 minutes on the way back, making 21:38. Going with that. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 23:30, 15 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    EVA time in infobox and intro is different. Kees08 (Talk) 17:16, 22 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    The latter was just the Moon time. Chnaged to match the infobox. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 22:08, 22 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Looks good but you may consider adding the total time somewhere in the prose as well, currently in the infobox and lead only. Kees08 (Talk) 21:55, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Would be nice if we could find a reference where the source was clearer, since we do not know what newspaper this was scanned from. Do better references exist? "Willie Catherine Duke: Was DAR state regent". www.familysearch.org. Retrieved December 7, 2019.
    FindaGrave has one from the Charlotte Observer. [1] 19:44, 16 December 2019 (UTC)
    Okay, I requested that resource from the resource exchange and can replace the citation we have with that. Kees08 (Talk) 22:06, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Received it already and replaced in article, if anyone needs the text feel free to email. Kees08 (Talk) 23:24, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Combine this with the other citation (41 and 47 on the version I am reviewing) "James May Speaks to Charles Duke". BBC Archive. Retrieved December 8, 2019.
    Combined. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:44, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Looks like this disappeared completely? Kees08 (Talk) 17:16, 22 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Yes, it was the wrong link. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 22:08, 22 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add Jones as the author "ALSEP Off-load". Apollo 16 Lunar Surface Journal. NASA. Retrieved December 11, 2019.
    Done. I was a bit concerned that there wasn't enough about Apollo 16. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:44, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Access date formatted differently Stryker Brothers (August 28, 2018), #SearchForTheStrykers from Astronaut, Charlie Duke (Part One), retrieved July 24, 2019
    Checked date formats. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:44, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Emmis Communications, Communications, Emmis. Seems a little redundant, formatting on this ref can be improved. Communications, Emmis (February 1988). Texas Monthly. Emmis Communications. p. 119.
    Removed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:44, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think you can replace "Professional Profile". Charlieduke.net. Archived from the original on August 21, 2012. Retrieved May 13, 2015. with "Astronaut Bio: Charles Duke 05/94". NASA Johnson Space Center. Archived from the original on December 17, 2016. Retrieved July 17, 2013. when citing the flying hours, since the information likely came from that bio.
    Done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:44, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Prose

Will mostly be making changes like the ones I have made already, let me know if you object to any.

  • This sounds odd to my ear, sentence is a little long/rambling He served as CAPCOM for Apollo 11, the first crewed landing on the Moon, where his distinctive Southern drawl became familiar to audiences around the world as the voice of a Mission Control made nervous by a long landing that almost expended all of the lunar module Eagle's fuel.
    Split sentence in twain. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 23:30, 15 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Classwork one or two words? class work and
    The spell checker says no; it appears to be an Americanism. Changed to "classwork". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Again was used at the end of the previous paragraph, maybe rephrase one to avoid the repetition Once again, Duke had his choice of assignments,
    Changed the first one to "also". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Rephrase this: He applied to do an aeronautical engineering at North Carolina State University
    Rephrased. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Capitalize Master of Science in its master of science degree
    Capitalised. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Capitalize Master of Science his master of science degree
    Capitalised. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could replace 'seeking to recruit' with 'recruiting' NASA announced that it was seeking to recruit a
    Done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Should the 'for's be there? astronaut selections in progress: for NASA and for the USAF's Manned Orbiting Laboratory (MOL) program.
    Yes, because of the need to emphasise that there were two astronaut programs. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Should this be rephrased to be that if both accepted him he had to join MOL, or something similar? Not sure what the intent is without analyzing the sources He told Duke that he could apply for both, but if he did, MOL would take him.
    Nominations to NASA had to come through Air Force channels, so it got to pre-screen them. He would only get one offer, and that would be from MOL.
    Could you rephrase it to sound more like that? Kees08 (Talk) 22:20, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Added. Duke undersells himself a bit. Clearly he was regarded as one of the Air Force's top pilots. Luck played a great part too though. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 22:49, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any way to avoid using of so much here? Astronaut training included four months of studies of subjects
    Changed to "covering subjects" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Believe this should be '12' and twelve on
    MOS:NUMERAL: Integers greater than nine expressible in one or two words may be expressed either in numerals or in words Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Believe there is a wiki article for rocket combustion instability 1966 indicated combustion instability.
    Linked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Missions (plural)? The pace of the early Apollo mission meant that multiple crews
    Pluralised. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • With no signs of life on the Moon would sound more scientific, but indifferent, your choice with no signs of Moon germs
    Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Teflon gets capitalized right? I believe it is in the Apollo 13 article at least. CM's teflon fuel tank
    Teflon is a trade mark, but probably shouldn't be. Capitalised. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Reading through Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Capital_letters#Trademarks makes me think it should be capitalized unless you can highlight something specifically that says it should not be. Kees08 (Talk) 22:18, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Capitalised. I tend to think that it has become generic. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 22:49, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think liftoff is either one word or two words, non hyphenated, unless used in a situation like 'the lift-off vibrations' (if you are using two words) under 12 minutes after lift-off
  • Removed the hyphen. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not sure nearly is the right word, perhaps 'could have been' It was nearly a fatal accident;
    Changed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • British spelling 2,238,598 kilometres
    Switched. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • DAB page John D. Ryan
    Some else handled this one. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lowercase 'as' where, As of December 2019, he and wife Dotty remain.
    Lowercased. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:32, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
General
  • Seems pretty random His mother traced her ancestry back to Colonel Philemon Berry Waters, who fought in the American Revolutionary War.
    Goes to his involvement in the Sons of the American Revolution. Others editors thought it was important enough to link him from that article. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not sure 'as a local boy' is needed. As a first step, Duke went to see his local Congressman, James P. Richards, who lived in Lancaster, and Richards said that he would be pleased to give Duke his nomination, as a local boy.
    I wanted to emphasise that Richards' willingness to nominate Duke was because he was from Lancaster, and not because of any obvious talent. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Seems pretty trivial They went to Jamaica for their honeymoon, but came down with food poisoning.
    Goes to his reputation as Typhoid Mary. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:17, 16 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Hawkeye7: Just the last couple of points above and we can finish this up. Kees08 (Talk) 22:20, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

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