Talk:Croatian state right

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Copy editing notes[edit]

Hello, I copy edited this article as part of the Guild of Copy Editors' January drive. This copy edit was requested by Tomobe03. Thanks so much for your patience as I've chipped away at this task. Below are a few notes I took while copy editing this article; they mostly involve issues that were too complicated for me to tackle.

  • The concept was first applied by Josip Kušević in 1830 in the constitution based on town privileges.[1]
    • "the constitution" is too vague (what constitution?)—needs an indefinite article (a/an) or to be more specific about this document. Either change to "an article/a document" etc. or be more specific about what this is
  • The "Modern definition" section is sort of confusing to read; I'm not sure how this can be fixed. My main thoughts are (1) move the section to the end as this would allow the reader to gain more context with which to understand the modern definition (2) expand the section (why, for example, is Application of the Croatian state right [...] considered evidence of unbroken statehood of Croatia [...]?)
    • Related to this issue, I've read the phrase the body of written and customary rules on the establishment and functioning of public authorities in Croatia so many times now and I'm still not sure what it means. Please define/specify or provide examples (either of such rules or how the concept refers to them). The most confusing part for me is the term public authorities—what does this mean?
  • Starčević argued that states form nations creating a "citizens' state" where all citizens would be equal, discarding the ethnic and religious criteria in definition of a nation.[2]
    • This sentence needs to be completely rewritten. I can't understand what it is supposed to mean.
    • My suggestion, not knowing the original intent, is: Starčević argued that states should form "citizens' states" in which all citizens are equal and the definition of a nation does not include ethnic or religious criteria.[3]

Of course, let me know if there are any questions or concerns.

Best, Wracking talk! 07:13, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wracking thank you very much for taking time to copyedit the article and provide this feedback. I addressed a couple of your concerns, and I'd like to ping you when I improve the remaining ones (the ones in the middle) for a quick second look if that is ok. Cheers--Tomobe03 (talk) 09:24, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Tomobe03, Sounds good! Wracking talk! 21:56, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

References

  1. ^ "Hrvatsko državno pravo" [Croatian State Right]. Croatian Encyclopedia, on-line edition (in Croatian). Miroslav Krleža Institute of Lexicography. Retrieved 13 November 2022.
  2. ^ * Ramet, Sabrina P. (2006). The Three Yugoslavias: State-Building and Legitimation, 1918–2005. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. p. 39. ISBN 978-0-253-34656-8.
  3. ^ * Ramet, Sabrina P. (2006). The Three Yugoslavias: State-Building and Legitimation, 1918–2005. Bloomington: Indiana University Press. p. 39. ISBN 978-0-253-34656-8.