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Talk:Dances with Smurfs/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Flash {talk} 00:00, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yello! I saw this episode when it aired and I was cracking up the whole way through, so I was excited to see it at GAN. Check out Talk:I Married Marge/GA1 for my structural set up. Let's get started, The Flash {talk} 00:00, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

  • Is there any source for its UK airdate?
    • I couldn't find one; that was there before i worked on the page. I've removed it. — Hunter Kahn 00:18, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "[...]a platform for politically charges accusations against[...]" -> can you clean this up?
  • Can you either expand the second paragraph or combine it with the third one?
    • I've expanded that second paragraph a bit, but if you think it's no good, feel free to drop that new sentence and combine the two paragraphs instead. — Hunter Kahn 00:18, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Plot summary[edit]

  • "Cartman starts projecting his announcements into television screens classroom[...]" -> "television screens classroom"?
  • Shouldn't Cartman's book be italicized?
  • Please add a period after "Dances with Smurfs"
  • Can you reword the whole Avatar part? It makes it seem like James Cameron adapted the film, not the book.

Theme[edit]

  • Can you add an image of Beck?
  • "[...]writes on a blackboard to demonstrate to make a political point[...]" -> try and clean that up a bit
  • "[...]and that he particularly enjoys Cartman's hair[...]" -> "particularly enjoyed"

Cultural references[edit]

  • Delink to Avatar and James Cameron (already linked in summary)
  • "[...]expresses anger that they stole his idea, expressing the idea that[...]" -> can you reword that so it isn't back-to-back "expresses"
  • Delink Smurfs (same as above)
  • Can you merge the second and first paragraphs? It seems a little abrupt as is.

Reception[edit]

  • Can you split it up into two or more paragraphs?
    • I split the ratings info and reviews info into two paragraphs. The ratings one is a bit short, but I think this is the most natural way to do it. — Hunter Kahn 00:18, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove the "the" before Nielsen Ratings

Images[edit]

Final say[edit]

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Excellent work!! I'm going to pass this article. Cheers, The Flash {talk} 01:53, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]