Talk:Djibouti at the 1996 Summer Olympics

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Djibouti at the 1996 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sn1per (talk · contribs) 01:32, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

Trying my hand at GAN reviewing. Sn1per (talk) 01:32, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

---

Some minor nitpicks. Sn1per (talk) 02:23, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   See below.

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

   See below.

2. Is it verifiable with no original research?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

   C. It contains no original research:

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

   No real bias as far as I can tell.

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

   Expanded very recently, from Dec 31, 2016 to Jan 1, 2017.

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

   There could be more images (maybe of the athletes or the events) but I don't think those are available.

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Comments

• Last sentence of the lead:
  • "The delegation included five athletes, three of which were track and field athletes: Ali Ibrahim, Omar Moussa and Ahmed Salah, and two sailing athletes: Robleh Ali Adou and Mohamed Youssef."
  • The phrasing with the colons is odd. Using parentheses or splitting this into two sentences might make it sound better.
    •  Done--Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 02:33, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
• At the end of the "Background" section, instead of "As of 2000" you could use something more relevant to the article (which is about 1996). Maybe something like "At the time of the 1996 Games, the highest number...," or if this fact is still true today, "The highest number..."
  •  Done--Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 02:34, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
• Second paragraph of "Athletics" section:
  • "Ali Ibrahim competed in the Men's 1500 meters he finished tenth in his group, but forty-sixth overall. Ibrahim did not advance to the next round."
  • The first sentence quoted above has a grammar issue (two sentences with separate subjects etc. stuck together)
  • The two sentences quoted could also be joined together like "Ali Ibrahim competed in the ... where he finished tenth in his group, but forty-sixth overall, failing to advance to the next round."
    •  Done--Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 02:40, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
• Third paragraph of "Athletics" section:
  • "Salah finished 42 out of 111 athletes who finished the marathon.[8]"
    • A "the" before 111 might sound nicer, but that's just me.
  • How about talking about the background of the athletes (like previous participation in Olympic Games) before talking about their results?

    •  Done --Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 03:00, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

• At the end of the last two paragraphs of the "Sailing" section, there is some repetitiveness and awkward phrasing.
  • For example for the last paragraph of the section: "The gold medal for the event went to Robert Scheidt a Brazilian athlete with a total of 92 points and a net point value of 26. The silver medal for the event went to Ben Ainslie a British athlete with a total of 122 points and a net point value of 37. The bronze medal for the event went to Peer Moberg a Norwegian sailor with a total of 78 points and a net point total of 46 points.[13]"
  • A bit more sentence variety would help.
  • Add some commas, such as "The silver medal for the event went to Ben Ainslie, a British athlete, with a total..."
    •  Done I changed the sailing sections though, so that it just listed the countries of the medalists instead of their scores to better match the athletics section above --Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 03:18, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
• The image caption for the map in the "Sailing" section shouldn't have a period because it's a sentence fragment (see Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Formatting_of_captions)
  •  Done--Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 03:20, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
• In some places you say "Men's Marathon" (or Men's 1500 meters etc.) and other places you say "men's marathon." These should be consistently lowercase ("men's marathon")
  •  Done--Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 03:20, 2 January 2017 (UTC)
• In the "Sailing" section, I'm not sure if "Laser Competition" is the right phrasing/capitalization for the event. Robert Scheidt for example uses "In 2004, he won the Gold Medal in the Laser Class in Athens".
  •  Done--Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 03:21, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

@Sn1per: all done, let me know if there are any more changes I should make. --Cameron₁₁₅₉₈ ^(Talk) 03:21, 2 January 2017 (UTC)

Good work. I made some minor tweaks ([1]) and I think it's good to go now. Sn1per (talk) 04:04, 2 January 2017 (UTC)