Talk:Drake Dunsmore

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Good articleDrake Dunsmore has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
July 15, 2012Good article nomineeListed
Did You Know
A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on May 18, 2012.
The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that neither Pat nor Drake Dunsmore, father and son National Football League tight ends, played organized American football before high school?

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Drake Dunsmore/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 05:01, 12 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 05:01, 12 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this tomorrow, but very first thing I noticed is that the first ref has no newspaper listed; add that in. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 05:08, 12 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 06:11, 12 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

  • "He was a 2006 first team All-Class 5A State selection as a senior.[3] He was a 2006 third team All-State selection.[4]" These two sentences could be combined, which would actually make it more clear than it is now that they're separate.
  • Through the article, add a few "Dunsmore" in the place of "He", as it gets repetitive.
  • The 2005 mention should be moved before the 2006 stuff.
  • "He was the 20th rated tight end in the national high school class of 2007 according to ESPN.[6] He was the 15th rated football player in the 2007 class in the state of Kansas according to Rivals.com.[7]" combining these two sentences would help flow.
  • "He declined his invitation to participate in the August 3, 2007, Kansas Shrine Bowl due to his ongoing rehabilitation.[9]" rehabilitation from?
    • Source says: "Lawrence, Smith and Woods all cited early reporting to college camp as their reasons for not playing, while Dunsmore, Murphy, Graves, Ruder and Louisburg's Jeremy Kush all pulled out after coming off injuries. Lawrence, Murphy and Graves were All-Staters for The Capital-Journal last winter."--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:17, 14 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He was one of two Northwester true freshmen" Northwestern
  • "he had a 10-reception 90-yard effort" comma after reception
  • "He had a four-touchdown 112-yard game" comma after touchdown
  • "Northwestern career receiving yards record for tight ends and was one" how many yards?
  • The Pre-draft section reads overly listy and could use a copyedit.
  • "worth $2.15 Million" million

After the issues are fixed, I would suggest trying to find someone to give this a copyedit, as the prose isn't very good. I'll put the article on hold. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:35, 12 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:29, 15 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified[edit]

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 2 external links on Drake Dunsmore. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 18 January 2022).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 21:46, 13 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]