Talk:Duckport Canal/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 10:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
I'll take a gander at this one. Zawed (talk) 10:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
Lead[edit]
- Order built in Major General Ulysses S. Grant...: looks to be some typos here. Suggest: "Ordered built by Major General Ulysses S. Grant..."
- Fixed the typo at the beginning, and added the intended date which was ommitted
- Several dates are mentioned in the lead, but it is never established what year.
- See above, should be addressed now
Background[edit]
- Mississippi River to closer to...: typo here, presumably "Mississippi River closer to..." is meant.
- The current phrasing works in AmEng, but changed
- Work on the old Grant's Canal resumed in January,...: as it is already established that we are in January, you could just say " Work on the old Grant's Canal resumed later in the month,..."
- Went with something similar
- The Lake Providence canal was delayed by flooding...: to avoid close repetition of "The Lake Providence canal", suggest just "This canal was delayed by flooding was delayed by flooding..."
- Done
Canal[edit]
- The end of the previous section already establishes that the Steele's Bayou/Yazoo Pass expeditions fail. The first sentence of the Canal section could probably start at "Grant decided..."
- Done
More to come. Zawed (talk) 10:02, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
Continuing with the Canal section:
- Suggesting breaking the first paragraph at "Historian Donald L. Miller..."
- Done
- The soldiers began the journey to the canal site...: presumably you mean this on a daily basis? Also, the sentence uses "began", suggest rephrasing to avoid this.
Aftermath[edit]
- On April 30, Grant had landed troops...: is that "By April 30" or if is "On April 30", the "had" should be deleted.
- Removed "had"
Other stuff[edit]
- Image tag is OK
- Dupe links: Mississippi River linked twice in the lead.
- Done
That's about it for me. Zawed (talk) 10:42, 22 June 2022 (UTC)