Talk:Estoy Aquí/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: WonderBoy1998 (talk · contribs) 14:14, 12 June 2013 (UTC)

Hi! I'll be conducting the review for this song. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 14:14, 12 June 2013 (UTC)

Files used

• The files used are okay, all of them have fair use rationales.

Lead

• "Its accompanying music video depicts Shakira performing the track with her guitar"- I changed this to " Its accompanying music video depicts Shakira performing the track, with a guitar in most scenes." since the entire music video does not show her with her guitar. You can change this sentence to something else you feel sounds more right, but you get what I'm trying to say I hope.
  •  Done, I just made a little tweak.

• " It was released in 1995"- This needs to be mentioned somewhere in the article, perhaps with more details (exact date blah blah). Also, the discdogs reference you used in track listings mentions that the song was released in 1997. Confusing.... Although I think it would have been released before 1996 (Release year of the album) if it was the lead single. Still, I suggest checking it out and finding some more refs for verification.

Funny you mention that, I was looking really hard to find a specific date. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything verifiable, but several sources agreed on a launch sometime in 1996; I added a source to clarify that. The part about 1995 is simply my error, whoops!

Haha! Ok! Also, change the Release year in the infobox! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 05:39, 13 June 2013 (UTC)

• •  Done

Background and Composition

• "Consequently, Shakira took a two-year hiatus, allowing her to complete her high school education."- Ref needed.
  •  Done

• "Shakira released her first official studio album Pies Descalzos in 1996 by Sony Music and Columbia Records. "- Ref needed. Allmusic can provide it. Also, if this was her "official" studio album, then what was Magia? You need to mention why this was the "official" studio album and not Magia.
  •  Done, and reworded as first major-label studio album.

• "Assuming a prominent position in its production, she co-wrote and co-produced each of the eleven tracks included on the record. "- Ref needed. An Allmusic album reference should suffice. Also, a ref you used earlier (http://www.biography.com/people/shakira-189151?page=1#early-life-and-career) can be used here.
  •  Done

• "Lyrically, it discusses a willingness to correct a failed relationship."- Not really favouring this line as it is the same one used in the lead. Maybe you can juggle this up a bit and add some more info about the lyrics of the song. I won't promote a reference to Metro lyrics.
  •  Done, although my understanding was that Metrolyrics is an acceptable source for lyrics.

• ""Estoy Aquí" became the first track by Shakira to receive an accompanying music video; it served as the directorial debut for Simon Brand.[7] The setting depicts a barn during the fall and wintertime, and shows a black-haired Shakira performing the song with her guitar.[8]"- Doesn't fit in this section. Make an entirely different section for the music vid, no matter how short. Also try to find some additional info about it. It's an old song and I understand it's going to be tough.

• ".... it served as the directorial debut for Simon Brand"- Went through the reference page and it mentions that the video was Shakira's music video debut but no mention of it being Simon Brand's directorial debut.
  •  Done

• ".....depicts a barn during the fall and wintertime"- One of the scenes shows a full lush green background, hinting spring or summer. I think it would be better off as "depicts a barn during different seasons" or something like that.
  •  Done

• "...black-haired Shakira performing the song with her guitar."- Shakira at that time was black haired only, so I'd remove that "black haired" bit. Also might be better as ".....Shakira performing the song, accompanied with a guitar in most scenes."
  •  Done

• The YouTube reference would fair better if used with Template:Cite AV media rather than Cite Web.
  •  Done

• Noticed many of the Allmusic citations don't mention Allmusic or All Media Guide at all and instead Sony Music and Columbia Records. Please change that.
  • Because those are citations for liner notes; the Allmusic page is there to reinforce it. Should the labels or Allmusic be used as the publishers in this case?

Work= Allmusic, Publisher= All Media Guide/ Rovi Corp...

 Done

• Reference No. 10 doesn't show up a page, but instead a notice "Page is Suspended".
  • Really? The Allmusic page loads just fine for me.

Some refs have jumbled I guess. I'll give you the exact cite text - Gabrielle Barros (May 1, 2011). "Shakira lança “I Am Here”, versão em inglês do hit “Estoy Aquí”". Jornal Espalha Fato (in Portuguese). Retrieved June 7, 2013.

Okay you seemed to have missed this one, so I corrected and replaced the ref myself :) --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 10:40, 15 June 2013 (UTC)

• "After attaining success with the original Spanish-language version, "Estoy Aquí" was re-recorded in Portuguese as "Estou Aqui" for Shakira's 1997 remix album The Remixes.[9] "- The Allmusic reference you've given here doesn't mention any Estou Aqui.
  •  Done

Nah still it doesn't mention any Estou Aqui. The iTunes ref you used in the lead should be put here since it mentions an Estou Aqui. — Preceding unsigned comment added by WonderBoy1998 (talk • contribs) 05:48, 13 June 2013 (UTC)

 Done

Reception

• Made some changes myself.
• "the song peaked at numbers 1 and 2 on the Billboard Latin Pop Songs and Latin Songs component charts.[13]"- The Billboard ref here doesn't show Estoy Aqui when the page is opened. You need to replace it with an archive reference, you're good at this so I'm sure you'll find something. I tried finding something myself and came up only with this - http://www.allmusic.com/album/pies-descalzos-mw0000185569/awards
  •  Done

• The page of Ref 15 can't be found.
  • After lots of searching, I couldn't find anything verifiable, so unfortunately it had to be removed.

Live Performances

• I'm not really in favour of the refs you have used. Let them remain there, but back them up with these refs-

For Oral Fixation Tour- http://www.allmusic.com/album/tour-fijaci%C3%B3n-oral-mw0001444477 For Laundry Service- http://www.allmusic.com/album/live-off-the-record-mw0000331045

• The song was performed by Shakira during her MTV Unplugged episode.

Use this ref- http://www.allmusic.com/album/mtv-unplugged-mw0000604924

• Shakira didn't exactly perform the song on The Sun Comes Out Worl TOur. She performed it on Rock in Rio. Use this ref- http://extra.globo.com/tv-e-lazer/rock-in-rio/rock-in-rio-confira-setlist-da-shakira-2678919.html
  •  Done all.

Track listings

• No such problems.

Charts

• Perfect.

Music Video

• In need of some more info, which you're working on I suppose.
• Maybe you can add a picture or still from the music video, since that is generally recommended.

• A screenshot has been added, though information on the video is very limited. I was able to pull out a Billboard review and another fact about its promotion, but that's all I could find.

And it's perfect now! I have replaced the dead link, since you seemed to have missed that point myself. I went through the article and made some minor changes. Everything is fine now. Passed. Superb work! Had a hard time figuring out how this article was a stub earlier! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 10:27, 15 June 2013 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.