Talk:Etta Federn/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: TompaDompa (talk · contribs) 18:08, 7 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. TompaDompa (talk) 18:08, 7 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This is a WP:QUICKFAIL. This article needs substantial work to meet WP:Good article standards. I'll list some of the issues I noted while reading through the article:

  • Generally, the article needs a thorough copyediting.
  • The stuff about Skuggan av Mart is only in the WP:LEAD, not the body.
  • The production details about Skuggan av Mart as well as the biographical details about Stig Dagerman veer somewhat WP:OFFTOPIC, and are especially WP:UNDUE in the lead.
  • The article uses the word "important" repeatedly without attribution. This is a WP:Word to watch.
  • The paragraphs about Paul Federn and Walther Federn are unsourced.
  • Raised in an assimilated Jewish family – what does "assimilated" mean in this context? It seems to me like a rather unfortunate phrasing with a whole bunch of implications.
  • suffragist Ernestine (Spitzer) is an odd way of putting it. I'm guessing this is to say "Ernestine Federn, née Spitzer"?
  • defeated the left – that's a pretty conspicuous way of describing the events of the Spanish Civil War. The usual description is "Republicans", not "the left".
  • File:Etta Federn Portrait.jpg is tagged as "own work". Did you paint this, Gecko990? The caption and file description say "ca. 1947". The painting itself bears some sort of signature that I am unable to make out. Without looking into this any further, I strongly suspect that this might be a copyright violation.
  • doing palm readings based on her psychological insights – it's unclear if this is meant to say that her psychological insights gave her the ability to read palms or the ability to make it seem like she could.
  • Without being particularly familiar with the subject or having taken a closer look at the sources, I still must say that this article seems rather barebones, as if a lot of material that should be included is missing. There is nothing about her death, for instance.

I will add some maintenance tags to the article itself. TompaDompa (talk) 17:58, 8 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.