Talk:Farnaz Abdoli

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Review[edit]

Great work! I find her story interesting, especially given the socio-cultural context. I suggest to maybe find more information about why her work is daring and as you said, she has had some problems.

Things to improve: You write: Farnaz Abdoli (aged 27) is a Iranian fashion designer who founded the brand POOSH-e MA. The brand was founded in 2011 by Abdoli herself. Here you are saying the same thing in those 2 sentences, why not merge them in one:

Farnaz Abdoli (aged 27) is an Iranian fashion designer who founded in 2011 her own brand: POOSH-e MA. You need to add in your introduction a sentence that tells the reader why is the work of Farnaz worth a while, what is interesting and unique about her work that made you want to write about her. Can you explain more about the conflict that her designs have created in Iran or with the Iranian government? Can you give some context of Iranian women's culture? Not everyone is aware of that. From where is the quote you have in her early life section? Quotes always need to be referenced.

The sentence: This is due to the Iranian Revolution, which lasted between 1978-1979, which introduced an Islamic government, as well as sanctions on women wearing a hijab and loose fitting clothing. What is the This referring to/ It is not clear at all. Can you add anything about her current work? What is she doing now? Is any of her work somewhere to see? A picture? An exhibition? Can you find them and include them? --CKuhnH (talk) 10:22, 14 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]