Talk:Focus E15/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: SusunW (talk · contribs) 14:27, 23 October 2022 (UTC)
I'll take this one. Am looking forward to collaborating with you again. SusunW (talk) 14:27, 23 October 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for picking up the review, I'll be interested to hear your thoughts on the article. Mujinga (talk) 15:14, 23 October 2022 (UTC)
Formation[edit]
- Formed when?
- How do we know the hostel was called Focus E-15? Source says "a homeless hostel"? Okay, it gives the name in the Watt abstract and the Amara piece in the Independent, please add citation.
- How do we know they were under 25? Source says "young", but I note Amara verifies the info. Please add cite to the Independent article by Amara.
- done - sideissue, i created the wikiarticle for Pavan Amara, didnt notice that before Mujinga (talk) 11:44, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- Watt is paywalled. Please mark as subscription needed. Also can you input page # via {{rp|x}} throughout, or is it a web view? (I cannot access.) If it is a webview, perhaps mark the reference "(Web page does not indicate pages)" or something similar.
- The Evening Standard is paywalled. You either need to mark it as subscription needed, or better yet, remove the live status, as it can be read in full at archive.org
failing to show appropriate respect to a member of the public
is a direct quote from the source. Either attribute the quote and mark it as such or reword.- Is show flat a model or a showroom? Perhaps link to that?
- Would fake living space be better described as a model? It seems to me that if it was designed as a living space, it isn't fake, but the intent is not for it to be habitable.
Carpenters Estate[edit]
- After
and could be lived in
can you bundle the refs? I also note that I don't have access to Watt, but I don.t see 4-8 years in any of the links. It is verified in Holdsworth, however.
- The Independent is paywalled. You either need to mark it as subscription needed, or better yet, remove the live status, as it can be read in full at archive.org.
- Can't answer that. I have never been able to access the Independent from Mexico. I am registered with the Guardian. If I don't sign in I can only see a few articles before I have to log in or I get nada.
- I note you say
immediately went to court
, but the article mentions no timeline and says "Bow County Court". I am assuming that is a court in Bow, London, but that is confusing because our article on Stratford, London says it is in Essex County and part of the Borough of Newham. To my unfamiliar eye, it looks as if the city was fiddling with the jurisdictions, but then I see in the Stratford article that it was originally in Bow. Perhaps you should link to Stratford, London? Unsure if naming the court will cause others to have the same confusion I did. On the time, I see the immediacy because Amayra says on 28 September 2014 that the council was studying ways to remove them, but by the time the BBC piece was written on 2 October, they had filed suit. Suggest you add a cite to the BBC piece.- If i look up bow county court it says its postcode is E15 4EG and E postcode area says E15 is partly in bow, so i think that's ok, but you are right the boundaries of bow might well have been redrawn since the court was set up. I don't know if it's necessary to identify the court in the article Mujinga (talk) 12:17, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- Yes, as I said, probably will just confuse people like me .
- Are you calling Andrew Baikie "a local councilor" because of BLP concerns or is there another reason for omitting his name?
- yes - i don't think he is particularly notable and not sure if his first placed google entry needs to be him saying something about FocusE15 - I'm following WP:BLPNAME here Mujinga (talk) 12:17, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- I thought probably, but you know I rarely do living people. Dead folks are easier.
- Ditto for photographer Jess Hurd, why call her "a photographer"?
- likewise although here the reference is more positive ... WP:NOTPUBLICFIGURE would also apply in this case Mujinga (talk) 12:17, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- The Telegraph is paywalled and even inaccessible in archive.org. Mark it as subscription needed.
- The Newham Recorder link is dead, but available in archive.org. Change url-status.
- Maybe it's just me, but
argued they had been housed permanently instead of temporarily in the hostel
is confusing. Seems like they are upset that they were provided permanent housing. Perhaps, "as their temporary placement had stretched on for three years", or something similar.
- Much clearer. Thanks!
- More to come. I love your work on housing rights. Such an important issue that is often swept under the rug. Am really enjoying learning about E-15. SusunW (talk) 16:42, 23 October 2022 (UTC)
Individual cases[edit]
- Why is Wood parenthetical?
- rephrased per WP:NOTPUBLICFIGURE - actually yes I'm going to remove some names in this section Mujinga (talk) 12:34, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- cool except now you have
Saafan and her children
and we don't know who that is. "She and her children" would be better.
- cool except now you have
- Insert after
children were evicted
"in 2015"
- Perhaps note in the 2nd sentence that she was their employee, i.e. "The council, also her employer…"
- Link Forest Gate?
- Why input Wellman ref twice? I see no quotations and no breaks with other reference citations. Should be sufficient to show one citation at the end.
- Not a problem, just something I noticed as being different from your usual citations.
- I don't see the film reference in Ramiro, but I do see it in Booth. Fix cite.
- Insert comma after
wider family
and replacethe mother
with "Wood's mother". - Who is she? Clarify it was Wood, not her mother, who was invited to meet with the council.
- Can't access Newham Recorder again. (Perhaps they are blocking me from Mexico?) Change url-status, as I can access from wayback link.
empty East Ham police station
perhaps would be clearer by saying "the empty building which was formerly" the station?- possibly omit redundancy by replacing one of the uses of "empty" in the same sentence with vacant?
- After
emergency accommodation
insert "in 2014", which is implied in the source (18 mos prior to 2016) but stated outright in Hopps, which you might add as a citation to confirm date. - Can't access Newham Recorder articles by Hopps, Long (2 articles by Long), or Burford. Change url-status to dead as I can read all of them on archive.org.
- or moved their server or whatever. Fortunately they were all available in wayback. Good to know it isn't a "Mexico ban".
- Insert "in 2016" either before or after
to Basildon in Essex
- Insert "in 2017" after
for 6 months
- Insert "in 2018" after
won the right to appeal
- All of the above dates are fine. Was just trying to build the time line and show it was repeated over a span of time.
- So did she appeal? Did they ever find her housing in Newham? (Inquiring minds are curious.)
- Dammit! I want to know.
- You should make clear that the threatening note was issued by staff of the council
- Inside Housing is paywalled and not archived. Needs to be marked subscription needed.
In popular culture[edit]
- Not sure how a research paper can "find" anything. The authors can find or report.
- Possibly replace one of the "highest numbers" with "highest amount" or "most" to eliminate redundancy in the sentence.#
- Possibly link Summerhall
- Why omit the name of the Lung Theatre Company?
- I see in Hitchings that it was playing in Battersea but not that the Battersea Arts Centre commissioned the play?
Miscellaneous[edit]
- Sourcing appears to be RS, but article names mostly are not in title case. Not a deal-breaker on a GA, but if you are going for FA it should be corrected.
- Fine with me.
- Image licenses and captions are fine.
- Images need alt text
- I get it. I try to remember, but sometimes this one in particular I forget.
Checklist[edit]
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That's it from me. Mostly nitpicky stuff on an interesting and well written article. Thank you for writing it and bringing it up to GA standard. SusunW (talk) 19:07, 23 October 2022 (UTC)
- SusunW thanks for a really thorough review! I hope I have replied on everything Mujinga (talk) 15:36, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- Mujinga I think we are done except for the one little failure in anonymizing the women who were evicted. If you fix that, I can approve the GA. Truly enjoyed working with you again. SusunW (talk) 16:07, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
- I am no expert on FA, but I think most articles have the potential to become that. As I said above, I usually work on dead people for a reason. I don't want to spend a lot of time working on an article which will substantially change because life happens. That would be my hesitation here too. It's an active organization dealing with a serious rights issue which could substantially change quickly. I'd weigh that before I put in a lot more work, but I was truly serious that I appreciate your work on housing rights. It is such an important issue. Approving the GA now, but the technical stuff will take me a bit, because well, you know... SusunW (talk) 17:14, 24 October 2022 (UTC)