Talk:Galilean moons/GA1
GA Review[edit]
I'm not really stalking you, comments to follow jimfbleak (talk) 05:32, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
- Not stalking but replied in 15 mins? Anyways, let me know weather I should still put work into the article, or weather there is still moore to do. Nergaal (talk) 05:45, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
*Lead more distinctly than ever before in human history. – redundant words
- Thus, he spotted the Galilean moons – redundant and lost sentence, start previous sentence with The Galilean moons if necessary
- Geocentric theory – looks odd, why is Geocentric capped, but not theory?
He named them after lovers of the god Zeus (the Greek equivalent of Jupiter): Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto, - You can’t say this twice in the lead!- Discovery – position of image contra MoS, I think, if it’s left aligned, shouldn’t immediately follow heading, drop down a sentence. Also 4 in caption should be spelt out (also inconsistent with caption of lead image)
* First two sentences both begin - As a result
- he only saw – should be he saw only
- Galileo also developed a method of determining longitude based on the timing of the orbits of the Galilean moons. – seems a bit lost – can it be expanded or melded into another paragraph?
- Dedication to the Medicis and his student's powerful family – don’t need to repeat student, esp as said to be former student before
- Name – first para repeats much of previous section, can this be improved?
Ephemeredes – link or gloss please- proper moon names.- do you need proper, or are there improper names?
in order from closest to Jupiter to farthest away – in order from closest (nearest?) if they are in order, last three words are redundant- Table – any reason why this isn’t full-width and/or centred?
Visibility – I’ve tweaked a little, please check- Io - many craters in pictures because it has many active volcanoes, 9. - many repeated, 9 should be spelt out
- Europa It suggested by Simon Marius, (sic) - this must be the fourth time we’ve been told he named the moons
If any life exists in the water, it may be similar to Earth’s deep-sea creatures.- or it may not - this must have a source, or it’s just speculation- Some theories are that Jupiter’s gravity is causing these markings, as one side of Europa is constantly facing Jupiter; volcanic water eruptions splitting the surface of Europa; and even geysers have been considered as a cause. The colour of the markings, reddish-brown, is theorized to be caused by sulfur, but scientists can't confirm it, because no data collection devices have been sent to Europa. –first sentence is almost unintelligible. Second is clumsy – better would be The reddish-brown colour may be caused by sulfur (why are we in British colour now incidentally?) cannot, not can’t
Ganymede – does every sentence have to contain the moon’s name? – and there’s Simon Marius again. III (three) – an abomination, lose word.- Callisto – see Ganymede
image copyrights and refs OK
I haven't checked for any other AE/BE switches, I'll do that on a final read. jimfbleak (talk) 06:23, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
- I will work on improving Ganymede and Callisto sometimes today. Nergaal (talk) 18:15, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
- GA review (see here for criteria) #It is reasonably well written. #:a (prose):
b (MoS): #It is factually accurate and verifiable. #:a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): #It is broad in its coverage. #:a (major aspects): b (focused): #It follows the neutral point of view policy. #:Fair representation without bias: #It is stable. #:No edit wars etc.: #It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. #:a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions): #Overall: Pass/Fail:
I did a final tidy, see you at FAC! jimfbleak (talk) 05:43, 22 August 2008 (UTC)