Talk:HMS Montagu (1901)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kges1901 (talk · contribs) 01:54, 23 December 2018 (UTC)

I'll take this one as well. Comments:

Lead

• Suggest linking 12-inch guns
  • Done
• The ship's career was short; she spent the years 1903–1905 in the Mediterranean Fleet before transferring to the Channel Fleet in early 1905. Suggest changing to 'The ship had a brief career, serving with the Mediterranean fleet for two years before transferring...'
  • Works for me.
• she proved to be a total loss - perhaps change to 'declared a total loss', though this is not explicitly stated in the body of the article
  • I think that's a little more in the wrong direction as far as active vs. passive voice.

Design

• Link 6-inch guns, 12 pdr guns, and 3 pdr guns
  • All done
• Link belt armor, bulkheads, gun turret
  • Done
• main battery turrets sides suggest changing to 'the sides of her main battery turrets'
  • Done
• Missing mention of range in body
  • Removed from the box - I don't have a sourced figure and I missed removing it before.

Operational history

• 28 July 1903 to '28 July of that year' to avoid repetition of 1903
  • I think we can just drop the year.
• I presume her service in the Mediterranean and Channel was routine peacetime duty; do your sources have anything more than what is already in the article?
  • No, nothing I was able to uncover - contemporary naval/military journals can sometimes provide useful details, but they're pretty hit or miss.
• was involved with testing new wireless telegraphy equipment in the Bristol Channel, which included sending Suggest change to 'tested new wireless...Channel, sending'
  • Done
• a series caissons, Is that supposed to be 'a series of caissons'?
  • Good catch
• whilst trying to help the salvage effort Could exactly how Duncan was to help the salvage be elaborated on?
  • Burt doesn't say - I'd guess
• Per this and this her captain was severely reprimanded by the court-martial and his naval career effectively ended by the incident; suggest mentioning this.
  • Added a line on this, good find

Bibliography

• Is there an OCLC for Scientific American? Suggest adding that, the specific date of the issue, issue number, volume etc and the page numbers of the article to the citation.
  • Added the ISSN and the rest of the details.

That's all I've got. Kges1901 (talk) 01:54, 23 December 2018 (UTC)

Thanks Kges. Parsecboy (talk) 16:15, 24 December 2018 (UTC)

• Suggest adding the title for the reference you added in the bibliography. Kges1901 (talk) 17:40, 25 December 2018 (UTC)

• There isn’t one for that – it’s in a section of assorted news items, some of which have titles but most of which don’t. There’s also not a title for the section as a whole. Parsecboy (talk) 20:07, 25 December 2018 (UTC)