Talk:Hard Feelings/Loveless/GA1
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 16:26, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
- Lead and infobox
- For the third sentence of the first paragraph, I would replace the song’s full title with “It” for more concise language.
- For this sentence ("Loveless" includes two samples: the first two lines of the song sample a documentary about Paul Simon's album Graceland (1986), and a sample of the transitional drum solo belonging to Phil Collins' 1981 song "In the Air Tonight" is also included.), I would see if there is a way to word it without repeating the word “sample” three times in close succession. Here is a suggestion (“Loveless” includes two samples: the first two lines of the song are taken from a documentary about Paul Simon's album Graceland (1986), and the transitional drum solo was from Phil Collins' 1981 song "In the Air Tonight".)
- I would split the last sentence of the second paragraph into two as it runs rather long.
- Background and development
- Please add ALT text for the image.
- Please link Lorde when you first introduce her in the body of the article.
- I have a note for this sentence (Lorde revealed that this was one of the earliest tracks on the record.). I have been told in the past to avoid using the word “revealed”, particularly outside of plot summaries, as it gives a rather sensational tone. I do not find the verb necessary here, and would replace it with a more toned-down variation.
- For this part (while riding the subways in New York), I would spell out New York City in full for clarification.
- This is a clarification question about this sentence (Lorde confessed that she never felt "Loveless" should have been its own track.). Did she explain why she felt this way?
- Move the link for The New York Times to this section as this is the first instance in which the newspaper is named and cited.
- Recording and lyrics
- Unlink New York Times here. Also include the name of the writer from the newspaper.
- Please include the name of the writer from Uproxx.
- Reception and promotion
- Unlink Entertainment Weekly.
- I am not certain about the structure of this section. The first paragraph seems to focus on the positive reviews, but the second paragraph is a little all over the place. I would move the information on the live performances into its own paragraph. The critical reviews from this paragraph include primarily mixed reviews (which works and gives the paragraph a focusing point), but I am not sure if the Anna Gaca source is necessarily a mixed or negative review. It seems to me more like a commentary on the song.
- Credits and personnel
- I believe that the information about the recording studios should be included in the prose of the article.
- Final comments
- Wonderful work with this article. It is a rather short and tight piece about the song, and it is very informative and an interesting read. Once my rather brief comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this as a GA. Aoba47 (talk) 19:04, 19 February 2018 (UTC)
- Verdict
- Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 04:11, 20 February 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.