Talk:Hy Cohen/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 21:26, 25 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to be popping a look over at this! — Ghost River 21:26, 25 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede[edit]

There's a lot of repetition in the lede para. Might I suggest something like: "an American former professional baseball relief pitcher who played in seven games for the Chicago Cubs of Major League Baseball (MLB) in 1955. He batted and threw right-handed."

Reworded. "Professional" is unnecessary, and "former" is not used for deceased players (only for ones who are retired). —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

On that note, delink Chicago Cubs in the second paragraph

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Early life[edit]

Start the third sentence with "Both of his parents were Polish immigrants:"

Done. I tacked it onto the end of the second sentence (which was only four words long) – hope that's alright. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"For the New York Giants of Major League Baseball (MLB)."

Added. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No comma needed after "High School", and you can get rid of the mid-sentence ref since it also appears at the end

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Professional career[edit]

Minor leagues[edit]

WL innings pitched

Linked. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"3 wins in the playoffs" → "three wins in the playoffs" per MOS:NUMBERS

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"9-game stint" → "nine-game stint" per MOS:NUMBERS

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"and he finished second in walks plus hits per inning pitched (WHIP) (1.051) and seventh in wins (16)." → "and he finished second with a 1.051 walks plus hits per inning pitched (WHIP) as well as seventh in wins (16)."

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Chicago Cubs (1955)[edit]

Since it's the only team he played for and he only played in one season, I think you can drop the (1955) in the header; that's more to serve as a guide for players who had 20-year careers for 8 different clubs or something like that

Agreed – removed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"over 7 innings" → "over seven innings" per MOS:NUMBERS

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Please mention his major league career final record

Already mentioned in the infobox. And 0–0 is not significant enough to be included in the prose. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Return to minor leagues[edit]

You don't need to mention "until 1958" in the first sentence, as that's mentioned later, and it's more logical to put at the end

Removed and merged with second sentence (since the opening sentence of just "Cohen went back to the minor leagues" would read awkwardly). —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No comma needed after "five games for the club"

Removed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Later life[edit]

Awkward flow here – I would move everythingi up to "Hall of Fame" into the first paragraph, since that all concerns his educational experience, and drop the square dancing thing, which is tangential at best

Fixed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"six days after his birthday. He was 90," → "six days after his 90th birthday."

Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"and had been diagnosed with COVID-19 during the COVID-19 pandemic in California several months before his death along with suffering physical issues." → "He had contracted the COVID-19 virus months before his ultimate death, and had continued to suffer health issues from the virus even after his supposed recovery."

Done (reworded slightly). —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

Good

General comments[edit]

Only one image is present; it's public domain and obviously relevant to the article
No concerns with stability, the last edit was on May 6
Copyvio score looks good, the only reason one is at 11.5% is because of proper nouns

Some MOS stuff, as well as prose that I think can be tightened or moved around. Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. — Ghost River 21:42, 25 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@GhostRiver: thanks very much for the review! I hope I've addressed your comments satisfactorily. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Bloom6132 Looks good now, happy to pass! — Ghost River 12:11, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]