Talk:If I Don't Have You/GA1

GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 06:17, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Soon, Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:17, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 06:32, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

and Streamline Records. It replaced → and Streamline Records, replacing (it sounds better, is not very long and avoids the repetition of "it")

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

song was written by Tamar Braxton → unlink "Tamar Braxton" and only use her last name

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

and Tiyon "TC" Mack. → and Tiyon "TC" Mack, while production was solely handled by Da Internz

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

for the 58th Annual Grammy Awards → at the...

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

on the R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay Billboard chart. → remove "Billboard" here

The Billboard part is necessary to clarify that it is a Billboard chart. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

In the accompanying music video, Braxton → In an accompanying music video released on June 9, 2015, Braxton

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The visuals feature American → The visual features American

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The video received positive → replace "the video" with "the clip" to avoid repetition

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:25, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox[edit]

Everything seems on point here ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:27, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release[edit]

Nothing I can really complain about! Well-written!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:28, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and lyrics[edit]

The instrumental includes a piano.[8] The song focuses → Its instrumentation includes a piano,[8] while the song focuses (to avoid short, clipped sentences)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Music sample > Include the fact that it's an R&B song in its description

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Reception[edit]

for the 58th Annual → at the...

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:46, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

that would appeal listeners → that would appeal to listeners

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:46, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

wrote that the song → replace "the song" with "the track" to avoid repetition

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:46, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

was appropriate for those "the mood for a good cry (or perhaps an all-out profound wail)" → I think a word's missing here or something because it doesn't make any sense

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:46, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay Billboard chart on → Remove "Billboard" here

See above comment about this. Aoba47 (talk) 16:46, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Music video[edit]

The accompanying music video → An accompanying music video

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Prior to its release → replace "release" with "premiere" to avoid repetition

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

A majority of the video → replace "video" with "clip" or "visual" to a. r.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

It ends with Braxton → replace "Braxton" with "the singer" to a. r.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Please connect the third with the fourth paragraph; they deal with similar content and having so many (thin) paras for a section is not appropriate

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

received a positive response → you don't need the "a" here, but can leave it as it is if you want to

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:50, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing[edit]

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel[edit]

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Charts[edit]

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Release history[edit]

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Other stuff[edit]

Copy-violation[edit]

27.5% is acceptable!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Media[edit]

Sample seems stable

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:31, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article
No dead links! Good job!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 16:32, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome[edit]

On hold for 7 days! Good job! I also like the song, and I took the time to watch its video entirely on YouTube (). Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:01, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Thank you for your review. I believe that I have addressed everything. I hope you enjoyed the video. Aoba47 (talk) 16:52, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Gladly passing! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:26, 17 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.