Talk:Iveta Mukuchyan/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 11:39, 13 December 2017 (UTC)

General

• There are some really basic grammar issues throughout the article. I advise you make a request for the article to be copy-edited. However, this shouldn't discourage you from altogether trying to improve articles on here. You're doing a fantastic job in contributing to Armenia-related articles, but everything just needs somewhat fine-tuning. Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:27, 17 December 2017 (UTC)

Lead

• for the fourth season of talent competition → for the fourth season of talent competition
• In the same year she was named "Sexiest Armenian" → This is not a notable fact for a lead
• In 2016, she also made → In the same year, she also made
• Overall, the lead seems very short and it could contain much more information to cover the entire body of the article (take this length here as an expample for how long a lead section should be at least).

Infobox

• You need to revise the ALT of the image to something like: "A shot of Mukuchyan with a black jacket, holding a microphone in her hand."
• Songwriter and composer are the same thing; remove composer

Early life

• 1986. She went to kindergarten in Yerevan → where she also went to kindergarten.
• She went to school in Germany and from 1998 to 2006, she attended the Catholic Sankt-Ansgar-Schule in Hamburg → This was followed by Mukuchyan attending school in the country, with her later attending the Catholic Sankt-Ansgar-Schule in Hamburg from 1998 to 2006.
• Along with attending school Iveta worked in a cafe as a waiter. → As a part-time job, she worked as a waiter in a café.
• despite all the difficulties she had → despite alleged difficulties.
• started studying jazz-vocal → what is "jazz-vocal"? I think I know what you mean, but that has another name, I think.
• She has a sister, Marianna, who is a stylist → Her sister, Marianna, works as a stylist.

Career

• competition Hay Superstar (Armenian version of the Pop Idol), → competition Hay Superstar, the Armenian version of Pop Idol,
• She features in → She was also featured
• the French track → the French language track
• depute studio album → I think you mean "debut studio album"
• Amalgame → you need to capitalize the album's name to Amalgame
• released on 1 January 2010 → the album's release date is irrelevant in an article about Iveta; add the release year in brackets after Amalgame.
• The following year, Iveta → always use peoples' last name
• As I'm continuing, I see clipped short sentences, unreliable sources (e.g. Facebook), lots of fancruft, unformatted links and poor grammar. This is why I chose to stop my review here. Please see "Outcome".

Outcome

• @Harut111: I've reviewed a select few sections, but as you can see, there are a substantial amount of basic errors with lack of referencing, and when there are references for something, it's usually an unreliable, or primary reference. However, PLEASE do not be discouraged. I think the first step would be to request the article be copy-edited as I mentioned above, and then even request someone to help you improve the article (however, I'd discourage asking me as I'd quite like to re-review this when it's been worked on, and if I've worked on it, I can't review it!) Best of luck, Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:27, 17 December 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.