Talk:Jacques Gershkovitch/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 21:29, 7 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! This is currently third on my "to review" list, which means that I should be able to review in a few days. Johanna(talk to me!) 21:29, 7 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you much. I look forward to addressing your concerns whenever you are ready. ---Another Believer (Talk) 22:05, 7 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • In the infobox, I would list his wife as "Lucia Gershkovitch"
  • Do we have a birthdate and death date?
    • Both unknown based on my research. Maybe if I take the article to featured status I can visit the library and search the archives for obituaries. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:31, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • If you could trim the lead a little bit, I think that it would be good as it is a little too long in comparison with the length of the article, in my opinion.
  • I know we don't want to make the image so small that it's difficult to see, but could you reduce it a little bit? It's quite pixelated.
    • I agree, the image is bad, but it is better than none and I think it is preferred to leave the image width parameter alone because people have different browser/viewing settings. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:37, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could you split "early life and education" and "Relocation" into two paragraphs?
  • Who said the "who made up in enthusiasm what he lacked in skill" quote?
    • I assume Jacob Avshalomov, the author of the book listed in the inline citation, unless he was quoting someone else. I no longer have access to the book. Do I need to adjust the wording somehow, or can readers see the author of the book or even find it if they need more info? ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:42, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would change the sentence "However, before 1917 the two had never met." to read "The two met in 1917, and..."
  • "There he organized" this is a bit of a confusing construction, as the previous sentence talked about his marriage. Also, where's the "there"?
  • I would split or rephrase the sentence beginning "During a service rehearsal..."
  • The next few sentences, which directly apply to the sentence I just mentioned, might need rephrasing as well.
  • I would shorten the title of the next section to simply "relocation"
  • "the Orient" is a bit of an outdated term
    • You know, I thought the same thing, but I went with what the sources said. I will change to Asia. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • First sentence of "Portland Youth Philharmonic": remove "conductor"
  • There's actually only two complete movements of the Unfinished Symphony, so you don't really have to say that they performed "two movements" of it.
  • Be more specific than "legend says"
  • I would spell out "kill" correctly
    • Hmm, there must be a way to show sic or intentional misspelling due to a heavy accent. I think this statement is supposed to be more about his persona and not read as though he was actually threatening to kill a student. I think correcting the spelling changes the tone of the sentence. Any other ideas? ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
    • I went ahead and added the "sic" template. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:28, 16 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Two external links: (this and this) are dead.

@Another Believer: Thank you for this work on this article. I've spent many hours in youth orchestra rehearsals, so I was pleasantly surprised to see this article at GAN. Johanna(talk to me!) 22:25, 16 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much! Glad to hear! ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:24, 16 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Wonderful. Pass. Johanna(talk to me!) 02:07, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Final assessment[edit]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Jacques_Gershkovitch/GA1&oldid=1123294840"