Talk:Japanese aircraft carrier Ryūjō/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 00:38, 15 September 2013 (UTC)

Progression

• Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
• Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Technical review

• Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
• Disambiguations: no dab links [3] (no action req'd).
• Linkrot: external links check out [4] (no action req'd).
• Alt text: Images all lack alt text so you might consider adding it [5] (not a GA req'ment - suggestion only).
• Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing [6] (no action req'd).
• Duplicate links: a few duplicate links:
  • funnels
  • bridge
  • flight deck
  • typhoon
  • Nakajima B5N
  • Kakuji Kakuta
  • heavy cruiser

Criteria

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

  • In the lead this is a little repetitive: "She proved to be top-heavy and only marginally stable and she was back in the shipyard for modifications to address those issues within a year." Specifically "she" twice in same sentence. Perhaps consider more simply: "She proved to be top-heavy and only marginally stable and was back in the shipyard for modifications to address those issues within a year."
  • Suggested rewording her: "...the Navy doubled her aircraft stowage requirement to 48 in order to give her a more useful air group...", consider instead "... the Navy doubled her aircraft stowage requirement to 48 in order to give her a more capable air group..."
  • Measurement should be hypothecated here as its an adjective per WP:MEASUREMENT, "...Her 513 ft 6 in (156.5 m) flight deck..."
  • "As completed, Ryūjō's primary AA armament...", what is AA? Abbrev needs to be introduced at first use (you link and explain the abbrev a few sentences later).
  • Adjective here too unless I'm mistaken: "...25 millimeters (0.98 in) AA guns."
  • Date format here seems off: " the ship was reconstructed from 26 May 1934 to 20 August...", consider instead: " the ship was reconstructed from 26 May to 20 August 1934..."
  • Typo here: "Captain Ichiro Ono assumed command on 15 November 1934 and Ryūjō becomes the flagship...", consider instead: "Captain Ichiro Ono assumed command on 15 November 1934 and Ryūjō became the flagship..."
  • Typo here: "The following month the ship was chosen to evaluate of dive-bombing tactics...:, consider instead: "...The following month the ship was chosen to evaluate dive-bombing tactics..."
  • This seems awkward to me: "Her aircraft complement consisted of 12 (plus four spares) A4N fighters...", consider instead: "Her aircraft complement consisted of 12 A4N fighters (plus four spares)..."
  • "Her air group is flown ashore on 6 October..." → "Her air group was flown ashore on 6 October..."
  • "Ryūjō is given a refit that lasts from December 1939 through January 1940 and becomes a training ship until November..." → "Ryūjō was given a refit that lasts from December 1939 through January 1940 and becomes a training ship until November..."
  • "The ship's air group now consists of 18 Nakajima B5N ("Kate") torpedo bombers and 16 A5M4 fighters..." → "The ship's air group then consisted of 18 Nakajima B5N ("Kate") torpedo bombers and 16 A5M4 fighters."

• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

  • All major points cited using WP:RS.
  • No issues with OR.

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

  • Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
  • Level of coverage seems appropriate.

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

  • No issues here.

• It is stable.

  No edit wars etc.:

  • No issues here.

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:

  • Images are all PD and seem appropriate to the article.

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail:

Looks fine, just a few minor prose and MOS issues above to deal with. Happy to discuss anything you disagree with of course. Anotherclown (talk) 01:36, 15 September 2013 (UTC)

I've fixed everything that you've point about above. A most thorough review. Many thanks.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:37, 15 September 2013 (UTC)

Too easy. Passing now. All the best. Anotherclown (talk) 05:11, 15 September 2013 (UTC)