Talk:John Demers

John Demers is currently a Politics and government good article nominee. Nominated by GuardianH (talk) at 08:40, 17 December 2023 (UTC)

An editor has placed this article on hold to allow improvements to be made to satisfy the good article criteria. Recommendations have been left on the review page, and editors have seven days to address these issues. Improvements made in this period will influence the reviewer's decision whether or not to list the article as a good article.

Short description: American attorney (born 1971)

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Changes needed due to the status of involvement.[edit]

I am going to make a move to change a lot of the statements regarding "involvement" here. The only reason would be because the current statements are kind of misleading, seeing as every source we have sighted, notes possible knowledge, and our article is currently stating he oversaw things from before his confirmation. Before more edits should be made, a discussion should be had, and this should be put under watch as more of the facts reveal themselves. Willthehelpfuleditor (talk) 02:02, 15 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

a discussion should be had Please proceed with some specifics. soibangla (talk) 02:55, 15 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:John Demers/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: GuardianH (talk · contribs) 08:40, 17 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: GMH Melbourne (talk · contribs) 09:31, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am GMH Melbourne. I will start reviewing this article shortly. Do not hesitate to let me know of any questions and comments you may have. — GMH Melbourne (talk) 09:31, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I have started the prose review (and will likey get it all finished by tomorrow (AEST)), anything major I will note below, anything minor I will fix myself, do not hesitate to let me know if you disagree with any of the changes I make. GMH Melbourne (talk) 13:21, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose review complete. Once all of the comments are addressed, I'll give the article another look. GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria[edit]

1. Well written?: (See below)

2. Verifiable?:

An Earwig copyvio check shows quite a few copied sentence fragments. As far as I can see all of these instances would fall under WP:LIMITED and are also, in most cases, public domain. The reference section looks all good. Spotcheck was all ok and I am satisfied there is no WP:OR. GMH Melbourne (talk) 10:40, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

On a second look I was unable to find Demers' birthdate (day and month) in the source listed. GMH Melbourne (talk) 11:13, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

3. Broad in coverage?:

RE: John Demers#Departure— is there any more info/events that occurred in connection with the "leaks of classified information"? Was he called to testify?— GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

4. Neutral point of view?:

Pass. GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

5. Stable?:

Pass, no issues here. GMH Melbourne (talk) 10:40, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

6. Images?:

I am satisfied with all the images' copyright status, they are all relevant to the topic and have captions, however, they contain no WP:ALTTEXT. — GMH Melbourne (talk) 10:40, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose review[edit]

General

There is a bit of inconsistency on whether "NSD" or "National Security Division" is used throughout the article. MOS:ACRO1STUSE suggests writing National Security Division (NSD) for the first occurrence (as is already the case), and then using the acronym NSD thereafter. GMH Melbourne (talk) 13:21, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Early life and education

Consider removing at the Ninth Circuit from the end of that last paragraph. GMH Melbourne (talk) 13:21, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Legal career

DOJ is abbreviated which is inconsistent with other occurrences in the article. Similar issue with FISA where it is only mentioned in the article two times and both times have an abbreviation. GMH Melbourne (talk) 13:21, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Nomination

Demers' nomination was supported by former officials in the Obama Administration. — I suggest swapping the sentence around to read Former officials in the Obama Administration supported Demers' nomination. GMH Melbourne (talk) 13:21, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Tenure

"When Demers became the head of the national security division, the U.S. was recovering from Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections." — Is there a better term/phrase to use here instead of "the U.S. was recovering"? It reads a bit overdramatic. GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

serve in the position until Merrick Garland, Biden's nominee to be attorney general, could assume the office. reads a bit confusingly. I suggest changing it to serve in the position until Biden's nominee, Merrick Garland, could assume the office. GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

when acting attorney general Jeffrey A. Rosen resisted. — be more specific about what Rosen resisted. I don't have access to the source, but perhaps say, "Rosen advised/urged Demers to stay on." GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

When introducing John P. Carlin, state his title— e.g. He was asked by Acting Attorney General John P. Carlin to remain... — GMH Melbourne (talk) 04:08, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]