Talk:Karma Chávez

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Untitled[edit]

Brita's Comments:

1) are all the parts there? - All parts are there!

2) is the opening "hook" strong? - The hook could be a bit stronger in my opinion. All necessary parts of the hook are there but could be written in a more interesting way. Don't include so many details, I would just start with very basic stuff like: Where she currently lives, job title, most important piece of work, and the other topics she studies. Good start!

3) how's the style? (spelling, grammar, clear sentences, correct verb tense) - Some of the style is inconsistent. Watch where commas should go, as some of the sentence flow doesn't make sense. There are a few sentence fragments that could be fixed as well. A lot of the ideas are there, they just need expanding. One that stuck out to me is: "Once Chávez attended graduate school she had the opportunity to read theories about ethnicity and race, capitalism, gender, and sexuality. Which all added to her experiences growing up." That sentence could be fixed into the following: Once Chávez attended graduate school, she had the opportunity to read theories about ethnicity, race, capitalism, gender, and sexuality. All of these theories added to her experiences growing up and gave her a better understanding of her childhood."

4) overall impression of the article. -Overall, the article is off to a great start. I would just add to a lot of the ideas that are there and just fix some grammar and comma mistakes.

Dan's Comments

- Add a section of the awards that she has won

- Beef up the opening sentences. Maybe give a background on some of the work she is best known for and best accomplishes.

- Some of the style is a bit inconsistent. Try and make your points clear and to the point. Remember, people reading this is trying to get as much information out of the least amount of material so maybe taking out sentences that don't apply would be a good idea.

- Overall, it looks really good. It is just a matter of editing it putting it all together to flow better. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Daniel.Boland (talk • contribs) 19:01, 30 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Decent comments. Dan, could be more specific. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aburnett412 (talk • contribs) 23:49, 25 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): BrielleMary.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 15:11, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]