Talk:Kepler-11e/GA1

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Reviewer: These are fun. Nergaal (talk) 04:33, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]


Comments:

  • " It is named because it is the fourth" remove the first 4 words.
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which was used to discover the planet by using the transit method, where the planet briefly dims the star by crossing in front of it." split as a separate sentence and improve teh grammar pls
 Done How does it look? --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:09, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • wikilink gas giant and Neptune, Saturn
 Done --13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)
  • " having a density that is less than that of Saturn[5] that suggests it has a significant helium-hydrogen atmosphere" atmosphere might not be the ideal word here try: "is probably composed mostly of He-H , thus giving it a density less than that of Saturn, the least dense planet in our Solar System".
Comment I added the bit about Saturn being the least dense planet, but the He-H atmosphere part is right off of a reference [1] --Starstriker7(Talk) 13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Fine. Nergaal (talk) 20:48, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that is well within that" not very encyclopedic
Comment Rephrased. Does the new version work out? --Starstriker7(Talk) 13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "after confirmations " => after it was confirmed by...
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Furthermore, Kepler-11e was named after the Kepler spacecraft, a NASA satellite tasked with discovering planets in transit of, or crossing in front of, their stars" doesn't sound right. The star was named after the mission
 Done Replaced "Kepler-11e" with "Kepler-11." --Starstriker7(Talk) 13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Since Kepler-11e was announced with five other planets, the letters added to the star are sorted by the planet's distance from its star. Kepler-11e is the fourth planet from Kepler-11, it is given the designation "e"." move at the end of para
Comment This part explains from where the e came. Breaking it up would break up the explanation of the planet's nomenclature. --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:16, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
But everything after is about what is right before it. Nergaal (talk) 20:48, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I still didn't want to break up the flow, so I moved the afterparts (KOI-157 and Kepler-11's naming) to before the stuff about the planet. Does it work out? --Starstriker7(Talk) 21:25, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Follow-up confirmation" move this para before the announcement one since the announcement was done last
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 13:58, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Kepler-11's planetary system became the first discovered extrasolar system with more than three planets, as well as the most compact and flattest system yet discovered." same issues at before. first transiting one, and NASA considers it the flattest
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:09, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "purified water " => pure water
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:01, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "standard temperature and pressure" wikilink
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:01, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Kepler-11e has an equilibrium temperature of 617 K, and is thus has an equilibrium temperature approximately 2.4 times hotter than that of Earth. " rephrase the last part => " which is about 2.4 times hotter than Earth's." Also, mention that this is the surface eq temp
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:01, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and completes an orbit every" poor language
 Done Broke this part off into a separate sentence. --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:01, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "stellar wind" wikilink
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:01, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • could you integrate the last entry in the refs section as an actual ref?
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:09, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • make the image twice as big and fix the caption
Comment and Question 400 pixels is rather large, so I enlarged it to 300 pixels instead. How do you want me to fix the caption? --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:03, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The 11d part. Nergaal (talk) 20:48, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Haha, silly unobservant me, I must say... --Starstriker7(Talk) 21:25, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • remove the stub template at the bottom
 Done --Starstriker7(Talk) 14:18, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Nergaal (talk) 05:06, 2 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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