Talk:Leanne Del Toso/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:27, 31 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Suggest you look at the comments I've made at Talk:Clare Nott/GA1 with regard to:
    • Lead coverage.
    • Table formatting (e.g. consistency, en-dashes etc).
    • Score formatting (e.g. en-dashes)
    • Check reference titles for correct en-dash usage.
  • In the Personal section, mix and match "she" with "Del Toso" so it's not just reading "she.. she... she... she..."
  • "In 2012, she lived Watsonia,"... reads odd, do you mean "As of 2012 she lives in..." has she moved somewhere for 2013?
  • "Del Toso was a 4 point wheelchair basketball player.[2][3] Del Toso started playing wheelchair basketball in 2006.[3]" reads really poorly, these can easily be merged.
  • "in 2011/2012" 2011/12 etc.
  • It's out of order, we suddenly read that she was encouraged to take up wheelchair basketball after a paragraph explaining when she started, what classification she has, what sponsorship etc. Doesn't make much sense.
  • Use a suitable link for "rebounds" for us non-experts.
  • Not convinced a gallery is required here, it doesn't really add much to the article that we haven't already got via her portrait image. Maybe host one in one of the other sections if it fits.
    • checkY Removed. Kept one pic as I wanted to show her playing basketball. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:35, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Isn't ABC Australian Broadcasting Corporation?

I'll put it on hold while these issues are resolved. Also, while I'm happy to review this series of articles for you, please make these sorts of regular changes across the remaining nominations so I don't have to keep saying the same thing?! The Rambling Man (talk) 09:33, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • All points addressed I would love that. I have Wikimania this week, but will be working on the articles again next week. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:35, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Minor remaining points (plus I made a bunch of edits):

  • Newspapers like Sydney Morning Herald should be in italics.
  • Why is PTS in the col heading not bold like all other col headings?

The Rambling Man (talk) 14:26, 5 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]