Talk:Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

Very little to fault here, nice work on the article. Neutrality, fair use rationales, sources, depth of scope and stability are all fine. There are a couple of minor points which I'd like you to look at:

  • This in gameplay: "Characters have a chance to be upgraded into "Star characters" if the player plays the relating character in "Character match" once a letter appears besides the character's portrait. If beaten, the losing characters will obtain the new status and thus statistical enhancements.[1]" isn't making a great deal of sense. Could you explain the process more clearly? It would help if details of what a "star character" is directly follow the opening statement, IE "Characters have a chance to be upgraded into "Star characters", granting them improved statistics (or whatever)" and then following on with how this is achieved. Why do the losing characters get improved stats? Wouldn't it be the winner? The whole thing with the letter appearing next to their portrait could do some clarification as well - at first I thought this meant letter as in alphabet, but presumably this is a letter as in mail.
Yeah, I was thinking that when writing. It's one of them things where explaining it properly involves massacring the prose in the process. It's a bit wordier now, but hopefully should be clearer.
  • Development info is thin, is there anything else you could use to expand it, or have you exhausted your sources?
It's one of the draw backs of writing articles on Nintendo titles, which are scarce on this info unless it's a mega big one like Zelda. This is all I could find, and I only got this by giving a parallel perspective of what I found for Mario Power Tennisi.e. Tennis was influenced by Golf – Golf influenced Tennis.
Sorry for butting in, but couldn't a sentence about the game being composed by Motoi Sakuraba be included? It will make the article more comprehensible. I've seen audio info in most FAs and GAs, so it don't think it would hurt including it. The Prince (talk) 20:45, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which allocates a bargain price" I'm not sure that this is the best way to describe a budget re-release (assuming that's what it is), they're released at a lower price rather than allocated anything. 'Bargain' is a wee bit of a judgement, 'lower' or a specific value would be much preferable.
Should be fixed.

That's it, I'll be watching this page or you can drop a message onto my talk. Someoneanother 18:18, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I think I've addressed your points adequately. Thanks for the review. Ashnard Talk Contribs 18:53, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, one last thing:

  • "The opportunities are only available once an envelope appears beside a character portrait in the selection screen, and have a sequential order of character challenges.22 I think the latter part of the sentence isn't necessary (especially since everything else is cited to the hilt), the other text could be cited with this Gamers Hell review (it's written by the site's marketing manager, not a reader submission or anything like that). Someoneanother 19:01, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, advice followed. Thanks for the find. Ashnard Talk Contribs 20:06, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your time, the Toadstool Tour is now a Good Article. Someoneanother 20:55, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, I missed your comment Prince, if a citation can be found for it then by all means please include a sentence about the composer. Someoneanother 20:57, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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