Talk:Marty Mayberry/GA1
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 22:58, 26 January 2013 (UTC)
I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman 22:58, 26 January 2013 (UTC)
Here are the issues I found:
- "He went into medicine because of his experiences," I'd reword this a bit, at first wasn't sure what that meant.
- "Mayberry took up the sport on the disability" on the disability sounds a bit odd, reword slightly.
- "In June 2010, he got married.[4] He met his wife at a music festival" this can be combined into one sentence.
- " and he is now studying medicine at the University of Sydney." Is he still there? The lead implied he graduated so double checking.
- "Mayberry has won medals at IPC Alpine Skiing World Cup events,[23][16] and" no comma needed here
- " giant slalom, slalom" and slamom.
- "Mayberry won a silver medal[1] in the men's standing downhill event where he tied with another skier[32][24] and had a combined time of 1:22.78" period at the end.
- In general, the article seems a bit overreferenced, with a lot of refs thrown into the middle of sentences on top of the ones at the end. There's nothing against it but it does make the article physically harder to read.
I'll put the article on hold and will pass when fixed. Wizardman 16:14, 27 January 2013 (UTC)