Talk:Mei-Ann Chen/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 19:30, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 19:30, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The first thing I did was look for close paraphrasing in the article using a couple sources. Unfortunately, I found some serious problems with that. Take this source as an example:

  • Wiki text: "Chen has also participated in the National Conducting Institute in Washington, D.C. and the American Academy of Conducting in Aspen."
  • Source text: "Ms. Chen also participated in the National Conducting Institute in Washington, D.C. and the American Academy of Conducting in Aspen."
  • Wiki text: "Chen later obtained a Doctor of Musical Arts degree in conducting from the University of Michigan."
  • Source text: "She holds a Doctor of Musical Arts degree in conducting from the University of Michigan,"

While those are for the most part locations that are a bit difficult to move around, there are ways to reword those sentences. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 23:34, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I appreciate and understand your concern. As you mentioned, these are locations and can be a little difficult to paraphrase. For now, updated to: "Chen has also participated in the National Conducting Institute (Washington, D.C.) as well as the American Academy of Conducting in Aspen, Colorado" and "Chen later attended the University of Michigan to obtain a Doctor of Musical Arts degree." --Another Believer (Talk) 00:25, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

In this source, the problem remains:

  • Wiki text: "where she studied with Kenneth Kiesler and Martin Katz, to obtain a Doctor of Musical Arts degree in conducting. There she served as music director of the campus orchestras and conductor for the Arbor Opera Theater."
  • Source text: "where she studied with Kenneth Kiesler and Martin Katz and served as Music Director of the Campus Orchestras and Conductor for the Arbor Opera Theater."
  • Wiki text: "and received two honors from the institution: the Chadwick Medal for outstanding undergraduate work and the Schuller Medal for "extraordinary contribution to musical life in the community".
  • Source text: "and was awarded two of its most prestigious medals: the Chadwick Medal for most outstanding undergraduate and the Schuller Medal for extraordinary contribution to musical life in the community."

These are borderline situations and unintentional, but I would like you to go through the article with the duplication detector before I continue and make sure there aren't any sentences that are mostly verbatim copied. Titles and the like are okay, but if a sentence looks like it can be tweaked, do that. I don't feel comfortable doing a full review until that's addressed; I haven't had problems with your other articles so I won't fail it outright. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 23:34, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The Kiesler/Katz part now read: "Chen remained in Boston for nine years until she attended the University of Michigan to obtain a Doctor of Musical Arts degree in conducting. There she studied with Kenneth Kiesler and Martin Katz and served as music director of the campus orchestras. She also became conductor for the Arbor Opera Theater." I see no problem with the Chadwich/Schuller example, especially since I used a direct quotation with proper punctuation (also, I believe I corrected the sentence by adding the word "work"). Going through the article now with the tool provided... --Another Believer (Talk) 00:25, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I made a few edits and re-read the article to see if any other phrases stuck out at me. I also used the tool to spotcheck but found it picked up on many common phrases. Please let me know if you find any other problems. --Another Believer (Talk) 00:38, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the prose issues I found:

  • There are a few choppy sentences early on in the article that I think could be combined into one. For example, there's "There she studied with Kenneth Kiesler and Martin Katz and served as music director of the campus orchestras. She also became conductor for the Arbor Opera Theater" which could be modified to ..., served as music...orchestras, and also became conductor...
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 07:58, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • For sentences beginning with a month and year (In October 2010) make sure there's a comma after the year.
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 07:58, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She will return to Atlanta in October 2011 to guest conduct the symphony." She returned.
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 07:58, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Once those are addressed, I'll do another source check, then this should be good to go. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:46, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

I went through about 10 more sources with the dup. detector, and didn't find any other issues besides a few phrases that can't be moved around popping up here or there. As a result, I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 18:58, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much! I appreciate your time and assistance. --Another Believer (Talk) 05:01, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]