Talk:Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 19:20, 19 January 2023 (UTC)

• This is my first time reviewing a car, so please bear with me! 𓃦LunaEatsTuna (💬) 19:20, 19 January 2023 (UTC)

• That should be all! Please ping me once you have addressed my concerns so that I can know when to respond. Thanks! 𓃦LunaEatsTuna (💬) 20:41, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
• Nice work on the changes! I am now happy to pass this article for GA status. Congrats! 𓃦LunaEatsTuna (💬) 03:08, 21 January 2023 (UTC)

Copyvio check

Earwig says good to go. No concerns from me either. Quotations are used in-line with WP:COPYQUOTE and only short extracts.

Files

All images relevant, good quality, and copyright-free:

• File:Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX 001.jpg: CC BY-SA 4.0, uploaded to Commons by registered user;
• File:Mercedes-Benz Vision EQXX 002.jpg: CC BY-SA 4.0, uploaded to Commons by registered user.

Prose

• In the infobox, is "Production N/A" standard for articles about concept cars?
• "and like its later EQA and EQB siblings it" – is siblings the right word? Please excuse me if this is car jargon.
• "In October 2020, Mercedes introduced two dedicated electric vehicle platforms as part of a weekly strategy meeting, the Electric Vehicle Architecture (EVA), and the Mercedes-Benz Modular Architecture (MMA)" – May be personal taste, but I would turn the second comma into an em dash for improved readability, especially with the date at the beginning of the sentence.
• "Mercedes would build an electric vehicle with a very long all-electric range" – is there a better word choice than very long?
• "Later, this target was revised to 1,000 km (621 mi)." – recommend changing to "This target was later revised to 1,000 km (621 mi)."
• "The structure of EQXX is said to incorporate" – why is said to?
• "Mercedes has also partnered with several external companies for the technology present in the EQXX." – missing a citation.
• The sentence starting "The cell-to-pack method of packaging" is a bit long. Could the size reductions part possibly be made its own sentence?
• "should there be a need for extreme heat or intense climate control." – I would wikilink climate control.
• "The EQXX also uses a 900-volt architecture, which allows for a lower amperage, which in turn allows for thinner cabling, reducing leakages due to Joule heating." – this sentence is awkward. Recommend rephrasing; maybe a full stop somewhere could help?
• "Despite this capability, during the EQXX's long-range demonstration runs, the charging port was sealed to prevent tampering." – recommend "Despite this capability, the charging port was sealed during the EQXX's long-range demonstration runs to prevent tampering."
• "other information about car vitals." – as I noted I am not an expert, but are these actually called car vitals?
• "flush rear wheels" – is there no definition of flush on Wikipedia itself?
• "are said to be much more aerodynamic than usual." – than usual? Could this be elaborated upon?

Refs

All sources are either RS or used appropriately, for instance ref 21 is a press release but appears to be used within reason. Does not yet pass spotcheck—no concerns with refs 1, 10, 16, 24, 29, 37 or 41, but:

• On ref 35, I could not see a mention of the tachometer.

Also:

• The publication names for refs 5, 8, 16, 19 and 40 are in lowercase; is this correct?

Other

Short description, navs, other templates and cats all good.

• Add WP:ALT text to the images.

Fixes:

• Re the "are said to be much more aerodynamic than usual" ---> I've replaced "than usual" with "compared to regular wing mirrors"
• As for the flush, the closest thing I can find is Flush door, which is not quite what I was looking for
• Car vitals point, yes, vitals are things such as tyre pressure, oil pressure (not relevant here), motor temperature etc.
• I can simply delete the point about the tachometer. In the article, you can see a picture which has the tachometer around the speedometer. It is blurry, but there are videos with it. Simple fix.
• Publication names, I tend to follow the stylisation on their websites. autoevolution, their logo is stylised in all lowercase, so I roll with that. Same with motor1 and autocar.
• Can fix the charging port bit. No problem.
• For the siblings, the EQA and EQB are different lines but both electric. The EQA line is sub-compact SUV, the EQB is a crossover SUV. The difference between the two is that the latter is slightly larger in terms of dimensions. I think siblings is an appropriate word.
• Yeah that em dash thing could work.
• Target revised sentence revised.
• I said *said to* because Mercedes claim it to be. Quite frankly, I have no idea if it is true or not. I can remove that if you'd like.
• I did not cite the several other companies because I mention the several other companies in the following paragraphs and sections. I can add one, if need be.
• I can juggle up the cell-to-pack sentence
• Wikilink climate control, done.
• Voltage sentence changed.
• Tampering sentence changed. X750. Spin a yarn? _{Articles I've screwed over?} 23:58, 20 January 2023 (UTC)

•  Done. X750. Spin a yarn? _{Articles I've screwed over?} 07:59, 20 January 2023 (UTC)

• Thanks for the changes and for clearing some things up! Re: the publication names, a lot of logos are stylised in creative ways but their official names may be different from what their logo is, so I would recommend spelling it with an initial capital. Also, the website for Autocar appears to use all upper case. 𓃦LunaEatsTuna (💬) 01:38, 21 January 2023 (UTC)

  @LunaEatsTuna  Done. I've just used "Autocar" instead. X750. Spin a yarn? _{Articles I've screwed over?} 02:54, 21 January 2023 (UTC)

• Great! 𓃦LunaEatsTuna (💬) 03:08, 21 January 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.