Talk:Mission: Earth, Voyage to the Home Planet/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: — Legolas ^(talk2me) 11:34, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Hey Cirt, how are you? I will be reviwing the article for GA. See you around. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 11:34, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Thanks very much! ;) -- Cirt (talk) 14:49, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

GA review

Well, as usual, its your article Cirt, and duh, there won't be much to comment on.

Lead

• June A. English is a science as in science-fiction writer or a scientologist?
• The book chronicles the NASA space mission of Jones began April 1994 --> The book chronicles the NASA space mission of Jones, which began in April 1994,
• Jones was among the crew members of the Space Shuttle Endeavour during an --> Jones was among the crew members of the Space Shuttle Endeavour, during an...
• Earth – overlink
• The book received a generally favorable reception in media coverage and book reviews.. ---> My only qualms regarding the following sentences are that they don't note their reviewer or the author. This can be resolved by changing the first sentence of the para as "The book received a generally favorable reception in media coverage and from book reviewers/critics." Hence by this sentence you are already making it clear that reviwers review a book, not the newspaper or publication.
• It was selected for inclusion in books Best Books for Children,[5] and Adventuring With Books --> Doesnot make it clear as to why the inclusion was made. Try something like "It was selected for inclusion in books like Best Books for Children,[5] and Adventuring With Books, for educating youths about history by using children's literature works."

Author

• Prior to his service while working for NASA, Jones was a member of the United States Air Force --> This sentence starts awkwardly. Teh reader is given the impression that you are stil talking about English.
• English and Jones would go on together --> English and Jones would later go on together

Content

• ...regarding Jones's mission during this time period --> regarding Jones' mission during this time period. Apostrophe correction
• for example upon viewing lightning occurring on the planet --> Abrupt beginning of the quote, try something like "for example upon viewing lightning occurring on the planet, he recalled: 'Maybe.... "
• Aurora phenomenon are described --> The Aurora boreolis is a singular phenomenon albeit with multiple instnaces of light being dispersed, hence say " The Aurora phenomenon is described "
• The mission was intended to provide ---> Remove was
• Some wikilinking of scientific tems like radar, echo etc is needed in teh second para
• There is a dichotomy.. Teh two sentences "The mission was intended to provide the Space Radar Lab with a view of the planet" and "The purpose of the mission was to analyze the ecological state of the planet." They contradict each other. I would suggest find a way of merging them together, otherwise they appear vestigeal.
• PS: After reading this section I am really interested to get this book. From where did you get it?

Reception

• received a positive review from journalist Rebecca O'Connell --> Remvoe the word "a". She did not give a one line review right? Lol
• Nita Thurman wrote for The Dallas Morning News, "Mission: Earth, A Journey to the Home Planet ---> Italicize the book name. The review might not have done it, but we do it per MOS. This is not changing the quote or the reviewer's interpretation.
• The rest of the section appears fine.

References

• Would you mind adding the ISSN for the newspapers? If ISSN not available, then atleast OCLC or some form of catalogue no.?

All in all, a good work. Rarely I read a book article that interests me to read the book, but this one has. You should be proud Cirt. On hold for the usual seven days blah blah blah... — Legolas ^(talk2me) 05:19, 29 January 2011 (UTC)

Response to GA Review

Thanks very much for doing the GA Review. I will do my best to address the above comments, and then note it here, below. ;) Cheers, -- Cirt (talk) 15:10, 31 January 2011 (UTC)

Lead

1. Science writer. Not science fiction writer or otherwise, but a writer that focuses on publishing within the field of science.
2. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.
3. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.
4. Done. Removed the wikilink.
5. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.
6. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.

Author

1. Done. Added a paragraph break and modified the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph to make this more clear.
2. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.

Content

1. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.
2. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.
3. Done. Made the change as suggested by the GA Review.
4. Done. Removed the word.
5. Done. Added the recommended wikilinking.
6. Done. Modified the 2nd sentence to indicate this was another separate mission objective.
7. Thank you. ;)

Reception

1. Done. Removed the word.
2. Done. Added the recommended italics to the text.
3. Thank you very much.

References

1. Good suggestion, thank you. I have added the recommended ISSN numbers to the relevant citations.

   Thanks again for doing the GA Review. Much appreciated, -- Cirt (talk) 18:51, 31 January 2011 (UTC)

   Checked everything. Looks good to me for passing as GA. Congratulations on you "nth"?? GA. He he. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 07:22, 1 February 2011 (UTC)

   Thank you! ;) -- Cirt (talk) 09:55, 1 February 2011 (UTC)