Talk:Music of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance/GA1
GA Review[edit]
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 22:05, 7 December 2023 (UTC)
Preamble from Vami[edit]
Hello, and thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. My name is Vami, and I will be your reviewer. During this review I may make small edits such as spelling corrections, but I will only suggest substantive content changes in comments here. For responding to my comments, please use
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Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. As my comments are addressed or rebutted, I will cross them out, and only my comments.If I have demonstrated incompetence or caused offense, please let me know. –♠Vamí_IV†♠ 22:05, 7 December 2023 (UTC)
Prose[edit]
[...] some of which were all assigned to specific characters and are adaptive to the events in the game.
Recommend deleting "all" here, and changing the last clause to "adaptive to the gameplay."- Changed.
It would be nice to know how Platinum came to decide on Christopherson as the composer, especially since he hadn't done metal music before. Did he have some association with Soundelux?- I don't think this is known unfortunately. It could be implied he worked with Soundelux, but it's better to not make assumptions.
[...] such as Logan Mader, Graeme Cornies, Ferry Corsten, Jason Charles Miller, and remixers Maniac Agenda.
Readers unfamiliar with these artists would benefit from some introductions here. Doesn't need to be much; just something like, "metal artists...".- Done.
[...] though most of his guidance was through Platinum.
This clause confuses me. Do you mean that Kojima's guidance got to Christopherson via Platinum, or that most of Christopher's guidance on lyrical content was from Platinum?- Reworded it to hopefully clarify this.
[...] which were stealth based [...]
Should be "stealth-based", no?- Done.
Per Platinum's request, the soundtrack was composed using heavy metal similarly to their previous projects such as Bayonetta (2009) and Anarchy Reigns (2012), [...]
Recommend rewriting this chunk of the sentence, it's a little unwieldly and elongated. Try something like, "Platinum requested a soundtrack consisting of heavy metal, like the soundtracks of previous projects/games such as ...,".- Done.
[...] he required the assistance of other artists he had hired to mix their ideas together.
This also feels wonky. Had Christopherson hired the artists prior to realizing he wasn't experienced in making metal (a strange proposition), or had he hired those artists because he was inexperienced in making metal music? Were they just producer types who happened to have experience with metal?- To be honest, I'm not too sure what this means either. I'm just going off of what the sources there are give me without making any assumptions.
[...] as the basis for the track Red Sun [...] tracks such as The Stains of Time. [...] the track The Only Thing I Know For Real, [...] where the track Rules of Nature [...]
All song names should be in quotation marks.- Added quotations to the first usage of each song title, but not beyond that unless that is a requirement.
The soundtrack was implemented in-game to be adaptive, with lyrics being responsive to what was happening in-game. [...] and fit with the characters further.
Pretty vague and could be reworded.- Tried to make it less vague.
[...] to specifically kick in when Raiden parries the Metal Gear.
I would not use "kick in". I recommend "to become audible when Raiden parries Ray."- Done.
There are too many "furthermore"s in #Reception and legacy, and not enough commas.- Might be fixed now?
They furthermore praised more tracks in the game, and furthermore described two specific ones, Collective Consciousness and The Hot Wind Blowing, to have similar themes based on American soldiers throughout history and usage of "blindly".
Rewrite this.- Done.
Referencing[edit]
I recommend combining the citations to Rules of Nature into one citation and using Template:RP for page numbers, since the book is only cited twice (and it's the only book cited).- Done.
GA progress[edit]
Good Article review progress box
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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.