Talk:Paul Tremo/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 10:19, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
I will start tomorrow. Thanks! — Yash! [talk] 10:19, 4 April 2015 (UTC)
Lead[edit]
- Link Poland
- Please reconsider. Per WP:OVERLINK, "the names of major geographic features and locations" should not be linked "unless they are particularly relevant to the topic of the article". Poland is neither particularly obscure, nor directly relevant to the topic. In general, I avoid linking the names of existing countries, but do link the names of historical political entities (such as Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, Duchy of Warsaw, Kingdom of Prussia). I don't think that reading about modern-day Poland will help the reader much in understanding the life and work of Paul Tremo. Please also note that I have linked Polish cuisine (but not Poland, nor cuisine), per WP:SPECIFICLINK. — Kpalion(talk) 12:25, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Life[edit]
- his wife, - no need to mention that
- Prussian capital - What was Prussian capital? Better to write the actual name
- Elie Tremeau, both father and son - Better to write 'Both Elie Tremeau, his father and grandfather' or something else that you like that mentions 'father and grandfather' since the article is on Tremo
- were then - were
- His status is - His status was
- Please be consistent. He is referred as 'Paul' and 'Tremo' in the section. Use 'Tremo' throughout
Work[edit]
- His favourite dish was roast[5][12] or stewed[13] mutton - Why do we have an 'or' here instead of an 'and'?
- Firstly, because some sources say his favourite dish was roast mutton and another source says it was stewed mutton; I don't know for sure whether he liked both or just one and not the other. And secondly, because even if he liked both kinds of mutton, it's unlikely that he ever ate both at the same time, so at any given time he only consumed it either roast or stewed. — Kpalion(talk) 10:27, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- so as to accommodate - to accommodate
- Tomatoes, for example - Just suggesting, can we have names of all things which Tremo never used, if the things are not too many?
- ...not only did he study classic cookbooks, such as the ancient Roman Apicius,[9] but also set out on... - ...he studied classic cookbooks, such as the ancient Roman Apicius,[9] and also set out on...
- as the famed Thursday Dinners - as the Thursday Dinners
- Some of his contemporaries, however, complained - However, some of his contemporaries complained
- has not survived to our times. - has not survived.
- His and his brother's - Tremo's and his brother's. And change 'Tremo' to 'He' in the previous line
- prolific - Better to use something else
- What's wrong with 'prolific' and what would you suggest instead? — Kpalion(talk) 10:27, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- It feels like borderline WP:PEACOCK. However, I couldn't think of any better option so it's alright. — Yash! [talk] 11:43, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- What's wrong with 'prolific' and what would you suggest instead? — Kpalion(talk) 10:27, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
- food writer[19] best - food writer,[19] best
- ...best known for his Kuchnia myśliwska (Hunter's cuisine). Published in 1845, it is the first Polish cookbook... - ...best known for his Kuchnia myśliwska (Hunter's cuisine); published in 1845, it is the first Polish cookbook...
References[edit]
- In 1762, Paul Tremo landed a job as... - Just to be sure, is everything stated in the following few sentences covered by a single source?
- Yes. Actually, as you may have noticed, this entire section is based on (various pages of) a single source. If you think that any particular statement should have a separate inline citation, please mark it with a 'citation needed' tag and I will replace it with a citation. — Kpalion(talk) 12:25, 7 April 2015 (UTC)
Images[edit]
I will take another look once the changes have been made. Bon appétit ;) — Yash! [talk] 01:40, 5 April 2015 (UTC)