Talk:Philippe Leclerc de Hauteclocque/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 07:38, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	~~On hold for seven days for a c/e per comments below~~Listing.

Additional comments

what's with the File:Officier général francais 5 etoiles.svg in the infobox?
The whole box and dice with the full name and legally changed name should probably go from the lead, or at least go in a note. At present it is very clunky.
There are so many issues with grammar that I almost quickfailed it. Here are some examples (in the lead—11 August of what year?, "the regiment in which he son Guy was a cornet", "in Saumur, He graduated", "However, his cousin fr was an", the quotation is in French, and needs translation in the body, not just a note). The redlinked French units names jar a lot, and are inconsistent, with 13 DBLE being rendered in English. Could you go through and copyedit it? I'll place it on hold until you're done, then will finish the review. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (send... over) 11:43, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
1. It is the style that all the French generals are in. Seems to have occurred in August 2009.
  - then shouldn't it be the insignia of maréchal?
    - It was originally - I can't see any discussion of why it was changed. Put it back. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:31, 6 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
2. The name change is in the body of the article, so removed from the lead.
3. Did a copy edit on the article. The links matched the articles. The articles are inconsistent. I have made the links consistent. The red links will become blue when the corresponding articles are created. I've substituted my English translation of the Serment de Koufra. Hawkeye7 (talk) 14:58, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- I think it is necessary to add that Action Francaise was a right wing political organisation, few will know that.
- Completed c/e, listing
  - French people are intensely interested in why he became a Gaulliste de la première heure, as he doesn't fit the stereotype, but I didn't thibnk that English speaking readers would care. Thanks for your review! Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:31, 6 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]