Talk:Reza Qoli Mirza Afshar

Reza Qoli Mirza Afshar is currently a Royalty, nobility and heraldry good article nominee. Nominated by Amir Ghandi (talk) at 07:33, 7 December 2023 (UTC)

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Short description: Prince of Persia

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Military history: Biography / Middle East

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This article has been checked against the following criteria for B-class status:
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GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Reza Qoli Mirza Afshar/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Amir Ghandi (talk · contribs) 07:33, 7 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 01:21, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This has been waiting for so long. I may be able to give my full attention to this review in mid-May. If that happens, sorry beforehand. Aintabli (talk) 01:21, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks in advance for reviewing it, and don't worry about tarrying, the article can wait a little bit more. Amir Ghandi (talk) 05:44, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

~~I would remove "important" (located in the second sentence).~~

Done

~~showed courage by subduing, subdued is enough for the lead in my opinion.~~

Done

Reza Qoli kept the peace intact but in doing so he was cruel, demanding taxes and executing people for mere crimes. Suggest Reza Qoli ensured peace through harsh measures when collecting taxes and executing people for petty crimes.

Done

Upon further look, executed feels much better. Aintabli (talk) 20:31, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
~~You may remove once full of love, slowly.~~ Aintabli (talk) 01:21, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done

In 1742, Nader was assassinated but survived the attack. He suspected Reza Qoli to be behind the assassination and thus had him blinded, but once the deed was done, he regretted his action and sought his son's forgiveness. Pretty confusing. If Nader Shah was assassinated, how did he survive the attack? My guess is there was an assassination "attempt". Then, it can be made more concise: Although he later regretted it, Nader blinded Reza Qoli after suspecting him to be behind an assassination attempt. Aintabli (talk) 20:31, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Childhood and adolescence[edit]

his father was Nader Qoli Beg Afshar, the future Nader Shah This could be a separate sentence. And you may consider changing this to His father was [[Nader Shah|Nader Qoli Beg Afshar]], the future [[Shah]] of Iran. You could also link "Shah of Iran" to List of monarchs of Persia.

Done

Please add regnal dates after mentioning rulers such as Nader Shah using {{reign}} (Template:reign).
Nader remarried by marrying her younger sister, Gowhar Shad, with whom he had two sons. Change remarried by marrying to married.

Done

I believe the second paragraph goes into too much detail that doesn't really concern Reza Qoli. Could you make it more concise? The chronology is also quite confusing. If you feel like you have to, you should mention that Reza Qoli's father Nader Shah was stationed in Mazandaran before he came to Mashhad. But if Reza Qoli was not with Nader in Mazandaran, I believe it can be removed. Was Nader in Mashhad amidst the conflict with the Hotakis? This paragraph and the last sentence of the first paragraph needs serious restructuring for clarity.

Reworked it, any thoughts?

The article still does not follow a linear chronology. Before fast forwarding to 1726, when they moved to Mashhad, you can mention that Hotakis invaded parts of Iran as you have done, and then clarify that Nader Shah conquered Mashhad during those struggles and moved there with Reza Qoli along with the rest of his family.

I would also change (shorten) this portion: Tahmasp II, the Safavid pretender (r. 1729–1732), was impressed by Nader's victory at Mashhad and appointed him as his commander-in-chief. Nader became known as Tamasp Qoli (servant of Tahmasp) and led the Safavid armies through numerous victories, eventually defeating the Hotak army in Battle of Zarghan in 1730. To: Impressed by Nader's victory at Mashhad, Tahmasp II, the Safavid pretender (r. 1729–1732), appointed him as his commander-in-chief. Nader led the Safavid armies through numerous victories, eventually defeating the Hotak army in Battle of Zarghan in 1730. Nader's new name is not so relevant when it comes to his son's article in my opinion. Aintabli (talk) 14:48, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Amir Ghandi (talk)

Amir Ghandi (talk) 13:33, 26 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
This sub-section could be renamed to "Early life" as that is what I have encountered most frequently in other articles. But let me know if you have a different opinion. Aintabli (talk) 19:36, 22 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Images[edit]

I will definitely take a look at the other images, but this one caught my eye, and I wanted to leave a note in case I forget it. It reads as if the title of the miniature is Nadir Shah appoints his son Riza Quli Mirza as Prince Regent before leaving for India, but in reality, this is just the description. Therefore, there is no need to italicize it. Please remove the italics, rearrange the caption as you like, and adjust the spelling (Nadir→Nader, etc.) in accordance with the rest of the article. Aintabli (talk) 19:42, 22 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done