Talk:Russ Winnie/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:04, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 14:50, 13 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this one tomorrow. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:50, 13 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

Change Russell Griffith Winnie to Russell Griffith "Russ" Winnie
What is the reason for piping sports commentator to "sportscaster"? If anything, "sports commentator" probably has more mass appeal/understanding. I would also make this change in the infobox (linked there too)
- I had been basing the style off of the one used on Vin Scully, but changed it per your suggestion. BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:04, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Recommend changing A pioneering sports announcer to A pioneer in his field to avoid repetition with the previous sentence.
Can you add his tenure for each team in the infobox?
- I know the Packers tenure (1929-46), but am not completely sure about the others. We know the length of tenure for each team, but not the exact years, it seems. What would you suggest? BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:04, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - The way you have it makes sense if the years aren't known. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Seeing as his wife is not notable, I would recommend removing her from the infobox.

Early life[edit]

When he was aged seven feels clunky. At the age of seven sounds a bit smoother.
and was declined -> but was declined (no comma)

Broadcasting career[edit]

He was their announcer as they won their first six championships in franchise history under coach Curly Lambeau, and Winnie became highly popular among fans, being known for his "dramatic style and extensive vocabulary." Recommend splitting into two sentences, adding a link and rewording a bit: He was their announcer as they won their first six NFL championships in franchise history, all under head coach Curly Lambeau. During his tenure with the team, Winnie became highly popular among fans, being known for his "dramatic style and extensive vocabulary."

Personal life and death[edit]

No need for the comma after wife

Images[edit]

Non free image used, seems appropriate considering the subject is dead

References[edit]

Reference #1 needs an access date. Also recommend changing publisher=[[Green Bay Packers]] to website=Packers.com. The Green Bay Packers don't publish anything (technically, Green Bay Packers, Inc. owns the copyright on written materials, etc, Green Bay Packers is just a brand. I find the website field to be simpler for use in {{Cite web}}). Also, highly recommend archiving this link, as the Packers have a nasty habit of breaking links in the past.
- Done the first and second parts, but I am unsure of how to archive links. Could you explain to me how to do it? BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:04, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  - I use this tool. But you can also manually add it by using the Wayback Machine to archive the link and then inlcuding the archive-link and archive-url fields in the {{Cite news}} template. I ran the tool on the article for you. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
All the Newspaper.com links need to not be the www-newspapers-com.wikipedialibrary.idm.oclc.org variety. They need to be the standard Newspapers.com variety. Let me know if you need help with this.
Spot checks: Ref #2 looks good, Ref#5 looks good and Ref #9 look good. Ref #1 is solid throughout.
Just a recommendation, I dropped the {{Open access}} template from Newspapers.com a while ago. I had another editor convince me it didn't help at all, and it is better to use the type=clipping parameter. No worries either way, just a recommendation.

Nice work! No major issues, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:11, 14 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Gonzo fan2007: I've addressed all of the issues except for the ones I've commented on. Let me know your thoughts on those. BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:04, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good! Passing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:03, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.